Travel Month | Airport Disaster & San Francisco

Lets just not even introduce this trip. Lets just start telling you about it because I know that that is the things you would like to read about the most!

Wednesday morning. 4:30am my alarm goes of.  I am so happy that I asked Eileen to stay over the night. It made especially the evening before a bit less hard. I only needed to do a few more things and than it was time to go to the airport. I wanted to give the girls one more kiss. Before I even got upstairs I heard some noises. It was Anna sprinting of the stairs. She was so relieved when she saw me. "can I please hug you one more time". The tears came up, but at the same time I was so happy. He face still had the prints of the pillow it there. I walked with her to her bed and gave the other two a kiss. It woke Sonya up a bit. although I didn't want that to happen, but it was so nice that it did. Little Sophia stayed asleep. I did not want her to wake up. The night before she was crying hysterically and told me over and over again that I couldn't leave and that she didn't know how to stop crying. It broke my heart in 500 million pieces. I didn't want that to happen again. So one more hug and then it was time to grab my bags and drive to the airport.

Here a tip for you. Check which airport you need to be at. I arrived at the airport and the lady at the check-it told me "Well darling you need to be at the other airport." NOO WAY. Eileen drove away already so I needed to call her to come back. She did as fast as she could. What a hero she got me at the other airport in time. Don't asks me how. Maybe by breaking speed limits and swearing in three different languages, but only maybe. 

San Francisco, It was time for San Francisco. Since waning to go to the USA I wanted to go to San Francisco. There was something about it that really attracted me. I was there by myself the first two days. That was good. It was nice to not think about what others want or need. I only needed to think about what I wanted. I stayed in a hostel downtown San Francisco. That made it easy to go to the shops and coffee bars. It was also a good point to start walking around of. 

But lets not forget that I made more mistakes that day. I arrived in San Francisco an hour later than planned. My flight was delayed due to the fact that it was raining in San Francisco. What a joke, Nienke travels to the Sunny Southern California it is raining. I decided right away that I was not going to complain about that. I had no time for that, I was going to embrace it. There've been taken enough pictures there with the sun shining bright and a clear sky. My photo's were going to be different. Because it is December the sun set quite early and so I arrived downtown in the dark. It was so pretty with all the Christmas lights. I forgot to check on a map how to walk to the hostel. With some improvising I found my way to the street I had saved on my phone. Without any doubts I walked in on the first door that said 'hostel'. They couldn't find my reservation. I was so tired and looked at them like. "you must be joking me" than she was like "are you sure you are in this hostel.." I wanted to interup her screaming that I was 100% sure. This is the right street I just checked it ".. there is an other hostel in this street" she continued. When she told me the name of the other I knew that this was the wrong hostel. Well hé, wrong airport, wrong hostel, who cares.

BUT THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE MISTAKES. When I went to the right hostel and got my reservation all sorted I got a room and bed number. There was someone unpacking her bag  so the door of the room was open. Three of the four beds were taken. Including the bed that was given to me. I didn't mind,I  took the last free bed and started to sort my stuff. Then this girl was in the room with a suitcase and everything. I gave her a hand and introduced myself. I had no clue yet. I was super tired and didn't realize that there was no bed free for her. Until she said "I think that that is my bed" and she showed me her reservation with her bed number . NOOO. While I walked in I did not check the number of the room. As soon as she showed me the reservation I knew. I was in the wrong room and that bed I was getting ready to sleep in was the wrong bed. I did not know how fast I needed to leave that room. I grabbed all my stuff together and almost run to the right room. I checked it maybe 5 times before I opened the door. The rooms all had keys and stuff and my key was working, but I did not trust anything anymore. But it was, this was the right room. After a shower I jumped in my bed. I laughed about it so hard. This was the biggest joke of my life. Wrong airport, wrong hostel, wrong room and wrong bed. While skyping my dad I said "next time I'm traveling with you again. I'm not ready yet". My sister laughed in my face and said "Well, at least you have a story to tell" and so it is. This is a better story than: 'I got to the airport and than to the hostel and went to bed'. haha

The next day I decided to go to two places I wanted to see the most. 'The Painted Ladies' and 'The Golden Gate Bridge'. While i was planning my walk I saw that there were multiple places in-between that walk that I wanted to see too. The 'San Francisco City Hall', 'San Francisco University', the 'Golden Gate Park' including the 'Japanese Tea Garden' and I also decided to check out 'Lombard/worlds most crooked street'. On my way back I would see the famous trollies. I would lie if I told you I walked it all. though I walked most of it and I was super tired at the end of the day. 

Because of my blog and my YouTube channel I got in touch with so many new people. I like that so much. Fé got in contact with me a while ago. Just by liking pictures on my Instagram. I saw that she was studying in San Francisco and I started to talk to her about that. How creepy does that sound btw. When I knew I was traveling to San Francisco I asked her if she would liked it to meet. It was going to be December 5th what is 'Sinterklaas'. In Holland we don't really get presents on Christmas, we get them on Sinterklaas. He is our Santa. I'm not going to explain the whole thing because in Holland itself there is a huge discussion going on. I have my side, but I am going to make enemies with that. haha, so I am not telling you. Fé is a Dutch girls studying in San Francisco what sounds like a dream to me. It was fun to exchange some Sinterklaas stories and stories overall. She showed me around a bit more. It is good to be shown around by someone who knows the place you are staying. Even though she isn't born and raised in San Francisco, it was close enough.  

I started to feel at home in the hostel. It had such a good vibe. Most of the people are travelers and some a students. I needed to organize myself by writing in my diary and working on my scrapbook. The scrapbook I am making for the girls. It is weird to see all those pictures and writing my stories to them. It was hard to work on because it made me miss the girls so much. I went to this spot in the Hostel were it was quiet. I felt so strong. I just finished my au-pair year and now I was all by myself in this hostel. I was only counting the hours until my tour started. It was a tour for au-pairs, so I knew that I was going to make some new friends. Why? because au-pairs are the most awesome human beings in this world. They are caring, honest and they love to travel. They are not afraid to step out of their comfort zone and they are the bravest people ever. They have a really good sense of humor and they like to have fun. I am not saying this about myself though. hahaha, but this is how I see all of my friends that are au-pairs. 

Guess what, I was right. The next day I started the tour and the girls I met were just how I discribed you just now. Due to the fact I have so many stories I decided to split my travel month in multiple blogs. So this might just been an introduction to my travels. Just wait, I have to tell you so, so much. :)

Thank You America

I have started to get organized. That means I turned my wardrobe inside out and got things out I will defiantly not bring home. Shirts I haven't worn to much or just don't like. and shorts that I wouldn't need in the cold and rainy Holland or London. The main reason for distributing those clothes is that there is simply no space in my suitcases. And I also try to limit the amount of weight. 

I feel really, really weird. The girls are old enough to realize what is going on. I have told them myself a while back. I accidentally started crying. I tried my best to tell them as gently as possible. I wiggled around the word 'leaving', but they are too smart. Right away they started screaming  "NO NIENKE, YOU CAN NOT LEAVE". I had to bite my lip to hold in my tears, but I lost. The fact that they were so upset about it, oh men. I did not like that. Auw. But it meant something though. It meant they really liked me. So I had to make the best out of the time that there is left. 

Not that we were not making an memories before. When you are leaving you want to get the most out off it. Have spent most of my time near them. Even right now. I'm off but I am writing my blog on the kitchen table near the girls. We have baked a lot of the last two months. I know they loved to do that with me and hé I don't mind. We've been out and about more than usual and I learned as much Dutch as I could fit in. It is incredible hard to leave and it does hurt. I know for fact that they will grow up to become strong and in depended without me too. 

There is no time left. Everything is a mess and I do not really know how I feel. It somewhere feels the same as last year. The confusion of leaving. I am heartbroken towards the girls and I am extremely happy to travel towards the west coast and going back home. I enjoy all it as long as I can and there is not that much longer.

A few days ago it was Thanksgiving. An American holiday were you come together and have a big meal. Center piece is the 20 pound turkey. There is no better moment to think about thinks I am thankful for. Because everything I do right now is amazing. I am without exaggerating thankful for everyone who ever crossed my path. Even when you were nice to me it probably made me stronger. My family and friends in Holland who are the best I could have ever wished for. I left home for a year, but have not lost one friend. Haven't been able to be there for you for the last 365 days, but you were oké with that. Also because I know that you are a strong person. Otherwise you would probably not be my friend. And I can easily say this because I know that I have a strong group of people surrounding me. 

Than my host parents. When I arrived here in March I was pretty down. I had to start all over again. Leaving a place I really liked was hard. I never though that I was going to like this place as much as I like New York. Well, New York is a different world. When you are there the world does not seem to matter. It is all about New York, New York and more New York. DC is way different. It is more business and goverment'ty'. That is not a word, but I like it written like that. I got freedom when I got here. I got the change to do what I liked. Never felt like I was doing wrong. I could alway be myself. Of course there must be some things that I did different then you were used to, but you never told me off. That is amazing and that shows that you were been able to adapt to me easily. I always felt welcome and had no problem with calling this place home. It will always be my home. It will always be a place that I love. You deserve the best I don't know how to let you know that I appreciated everything you did for me. Thank you.

My friends made in the USA. Ashley, Anne and Veryan. I got to know you day 1. That is tomorrow. Tomorrow is our anniversary, haha.  Ashley I can not wait to see you again in January. It was hard to see you go and I am so glad that I know that I will been able to spend some time with you in London. Anne, I was so happy when you were here in April. That you and Guilia took me to some lovely spots around on my birthday. It would not have been as fun of a birthday if you didn't do that. I really hope that everything is going well and that you come to visit me in London or in Holland. Veryan, Vezzo, Vlehyoyo. You are a special human being and I love you so, so much. Thank you for ever message for your photo's and your annoyingly stupid jokes. I am thinking about stealing your passport when you are in London. I don't want you to leave again. Though I'm so proud of you. You are staying. Look I didn't, haha. You.... Well I'm feeling overwhelmed. I LOVE YOU and Thank you so much for understanding me. Even when it was in Dutch, bla bla. :) Veerle, I just said my last goodbye. auw, DC was so much better with you and you are a joy to be around with. Your love for America is great and that made me realize what an amazing adventure this. You made me love America more, thank you I am going to miss you a lot. And I think you should stay an other year ;) Eileen, you muffin. It is sad that were only been able to spent the last few months together. But we made the best out of it and I think we succeeded there. Always available for a date and ours were always super adventures. Well, at least I saw my favorite movies again. haha. I love you and thank you for all you have done for me. you helped me a lot! 

But there is one thing I am thankful for the most. Not a thing actually, my girls. They are my girls. I love them to death. My heart grew over the last year. Starting in New York and finishing in Virgina. They learn thing from me but I have learned so much more from them. Emotions are over the place. I kind of want to list it but the only thing that comes up right now is that I learned to love you. I love my family and I will catch a bullet for them. But I did not know that I was been able to love you girls as much as I love them. Call me when you need me. I will alway be there for you. 'pinky promise', 'cross my heart', 'spit in my hand' and however I can show you that I will. THANK YOU !

Now it is time to do my last bits of the laundry. These suitcases need to close tomorrow. On December 3th will hug my girls and will fly to San Francisco. Going to tour around the west coast and ending in Los Angeles. To fly back to DC to give my last hugs to everyone to leave America for behind for now and move on to my next adventures. What a great one this was. Is it weird to be thankful to yourself. because I am. I am thankful that I did what I wanted most. That I do what I want to do. You should do that to. I tell you here. IT IS FUN AND IT MAKES YOU REALLY HAPPY! 

Colorful Colorado

Time is getting less and less and I have come to realize that I haven't seen enough of the USA yet. I have until December to travel wherever I want to go inside of this gigantic county. Last month I randomly booked my ticket to go to Denver, Colorado. Well I have thought about it a proper amount of time, but it was no longer than a week. 

If you know me well you know that that is not me at all. I got a little anxious about it, but mainly because it made me super excited. I booked my ticket to fly to Denver on a Friday night and to go back on Sunday evening. During my ASL classes I met Ines. She came all the way from Colorado to Baltimore to take the classes. I had a great laugh with her that weekend. When she told me she lived so far away I was pretty sure I was not going  to see her again here. At the same time I realized I knew someone else who lives in Colorado who I really wanted to meet. So why not Nienke, Why not just go.

That other person is Ester. When I started my blog and YouTube channel I knew that there were more than 'just my friends and family' that were been able to see those medias. My agency in Holland contacted me when I posted my first video. They asked me if they were been able to put a link to my YouTube channel on their website. So that new au-pairs were been able to see how it is to be an au-pair. They can follow me through my lows and highs. Ester was the first one to get in contact me. It is really cool to see that what I started did get people to become an au-pair. They probably would have anyway, but maybe for some I could give little push. 

Ester was one of them. No, for Ester I was just making the picture clearer. I know for over 500% that she would be where she is now, without me too. She asked me questions and over time we started to Skype. We started a friendship that was based on the same dream. Being an au-pair in USA. She was still in Holland and I was moving to Virginia. I made my dream come true and while she was finishing school she was getting ready to do the same. I saw here grow in this adventure. Everyday she came closer and closer. When we started to Skype she was about to sent her applications to the Dutch agency. I was been able to follow her from the start. From filling in the papers to arriving in Denver. I was reliving it all over again. Months past and now I was about time to meet each other. 

Friday first. I had to work and on friday my days are hectic. I have to do the laundry and so some cleaning. At the same time I had to get ready to leave at 6:30. I had to pack my bag. I had to bring DVDs back to the central library a few miles away and what about my own laundry. Welcome to my friday. It is the first time in my life that I wake up on friday and I have the thought "oh no, friday" haha. Even though the day was insanely buzzy I was been able to get in all organized. At 6 O'clock I was all packed and the laundry was done. The house was done and the DVDs were back at the library. With done I mean I did most of the cleaning but I was not been able to get it all done in time. Girls room were organized and the floors were vacuumed so I know I did my best towards to most important parts. 

The lovely Katerine brought me to the airport. Still super grateful for that. I flew at 10:10pm what gave me some time to kill. I always want to be in time, just can't stand to  come late. Especially when it comes to going on planes. Than it is not about no been able to stand to be late, but if you are late you are screwed. So why not arriving there 3hours to early, haha. The flight was good and I arrived in Denver 11:50pm local time. There is a time difference of 2 hours. I flew twice for 3,5 hours for just one weekend. Ines, the sweetheart, picked my up at midnight. I was so happy to see her. I was exhausted from the flight. It took us quite a while to get to Ines's house because she is living in the mountains. What I absolutely adore. It was 2am in Colorado, 4am on the east coast and 10am in Holland. I was kind of delirious of tiredness and I should have immediately got to bed, but I instead of that decided to Skype my dad. He answered the call in his robe. He was already up for 2 hours. Most of the time the time difference is the stupidest thing on earth, though sometimes it is funny. I told him that my flight went well and how tired I was and then I kind of fell asleep. 

Good morning America, I have woken up in this country quite a lot now. This was the best one. The view was incredible and Ines made me a delicious smoothie with a Spanish breakfast. Ines is a Spanier, well that is who she calls herself. For me it sounds like she is descended from a dog breed. haha. I would say she is Spanish. Before I came to Colorado I only had one place I really wanted to go to. Let Ines not have been there yet; 'The Gardens of the God'. It is this such a breathtaking place. It is a nature park with gigantic red rock formation. For me the typical nature of the US. I absolutely loved it. 

Later that afternoon we drove to Denver. Ines lives 30minutes away from downtown and due to the fact that I arrived super late the evening before I hadn't seen Denver itself yet. Though there was something quite not like my style going on downtown. The annual zombie crawl. I DO NOT LIKE THAT. It looked really, really great though. It was not just some people with ripped clothes and fake blood. It was a proper zombie crawl, with prober make-up and costumes multiplied by hundreds.  Writing about it I gives me shivers all over my body again.I get scared so easily. -- I think it is time to blame my brother and sister. I've said over all my social medias how big of a baby I am. That is all due to the fact that the two of you scared me all my life and enjoyed it more than you should have had! THANKS-- I was petrified, but as long as they just past me I was doing fine, deep breath. haha.

That afternoon it was finally time to meet Ester in person. This is the 'I forgot to count' time to tell everyone that I am so proud of you and I am extremely glad that I got to see you. To give you the biggest hug and to talk to you for hours straight. To tell you in person who I feel about everything you've done. Such a huge achievement and I at this point couldn't be happier for you! She was exactly as I expected her to be. It was almost impossible to be different, because we have shared stories almost every day. She joined me and Ines for diner and after a nice evening we convinced her to stay the night with us so that she could join us the next day. 

This was the shortest trip of my life and the next morning I was putting everything back in my mini suitcase and printed my ticket already. We had quite some time before my flight. We went to the red rock amphitheater. Crazy views and I secretly wish that there was some time to visit a concert there. That must look amazing. Some lunch at the Evergreen Lake and than it was time to go to the airport. It was such a great weekend and I was so glad that I got to spent some time with these two amazing girls. Denver, Colorado is stunning and defiantly a place you should visit. You have the city and within half a hour you are in the mountains and than don't forget the red colored rocks everywhere. I was really lucky with my timing, because Autumn is the most colorful time of the year. Especially in Colorado. The weather was so good and quite warm at some moments. It was only for short time, but it was more that worth it! 

Colorado thank you. You need to know that you are lucky having these great girls in your pretty state. Take care of them now that I am far away again. I love you!

I've Decided

It is ridicules what I know for quite a while now. I am going home. I am actually going home. Last year this time I was over excited because this adventure came so close now. I finally had a family after dreaming about it for months. Did I every tell you that I wanted to be an au-pair for over 3 years before I did it. The though that I am going to finish within 6 weeks is mental. I knew that this was going to come and I was prepared. It is weird non the less. I have been in the states since December 2nd, 2013. That means my year will end on December 2nd, 2014. I had multiple options when this date game closer and closer. I choose the one, what might be the least chosen one. I wanted to go back home. 

I have been all over the place with what I wanted. The other options I had were for me to stay for 6,9 or 12 more months. That could be in the current family I am in or I could find a new one. I was in decidable for a really long time. The fist time I started to think about extending was in month 5. That was my second month in my current family. That is kind of extreme. It felt like I just arrived and everyone was already asking me if I knew if I wanted to stay longer. Until a few weeks ago I might not have had sleepless nights about it, but they gradually came. Nights I was doubting about what I REALLY wanted. How could I decided this for myself. Mam, Dad? I have skyped my parents way to much. For them it might not feel like that though. Well that was I felt, Nienke grow up, you are 20 now! Make your own decisions they wouldn't anymore. 

For the longest time I wanted to say. Only 6 months. That has a reason. You might know that I only graduated High School and I want to do something with the degree I have. I want to go back to school after the summer of 2015. So the option I gave myself was 6 more months in the USA. I felt great with that though. I was happy now that I "decided" that. What? no, I did not actually decided that. I think that for approximately 3 months I was pretty sure I was going to do that. I really wanted to go to the west coast to stay with an other family. For a new experience. For new adventures. 

It was up until a moment that someone told me that it might not be possible to find a new family for just 6 months. That made me rethink that I might prefer to stay with my current family. Not a bad idea at all. Why making it hard when it can be so much more easier. I was loving these girls more each day. The connection between them and me grew and I was been able to control them better than ever before. I was getting use to the idea of staying with this family.

All of a sudden one day, one moment in that day and that plan faded away. From being 80% sure staying in the states to 80% sure about going away. I cried about it, a ton. How could I do that to myself? How could I make my plans fade away so easily? The answer to that wasn't too hard to find. I wanted to move on. Wanted to see more and learn new things. Yes I love these girls a lot and my schedule fits me perfectly. I felt there was a stagnation going on in my life. When I get that feeling I get really, really anxious. Without noticing that feeling creeped in on me over time. It only needed a  smal touch in order to come to the surface. 

I was so confused. Though overall I was relieved. I knew I was going to have an other great 6 months here, but I couldn't come to 100% security. As soon as the tide turned I knew it was the best choice to go. I wrote letters to myself, made pro's and con's and spook to my family and friends. I was right. As the 80% became 85 and everyday the percentage grew. It got to the point I reached 98%. Up until today I switch between 99 and 98. How can you be 100% sure you want to leave a family you started to love or friends I made over time. But it was enough for me to realize that I wanted to go back home for Christmas. Not that that was a reason to go, but it is a huge plus that I get to celebrate that with my own family. 

I am super excited for the time I still have. Every day is a new one. Today the sun disappeared and swimming pools are turning up on the side of the roads. Lightning strikes and the thunder is extremely loud, well I am not complaining. I secretly like these kind of rainy days. This weekend I am going to see two friends in Denver. I flight in on Friday night and will leave Sunday evening. It is a 3,5h flight, but I couldn't be bordered. I really wanted to go and so I booked. 

The decision is hard, but the one I made is perfect. I got new opportunities and I can not wait to grab those once. It was better for me to move on. For others it is way more fun to stay for an other couple of months. I listened to what my feelings told me. Than I listed it to see if those feelings were right. I went through them over and over again. I can not stop smiling now that I know what I am going to do the next few months. It is going to be amazing. I will definably let some tears fall down, but I know it is good. This adventure is mine, I can't believe it. This is my dream and I will not stop dreaming any time soon!

Sign Language Classes

I finally finished my classes. I did a two-weekend course about sign language. It is incredible how deaf people can communicate as fast as speaking/hearing people can. It is rather fascinating. I had this fascination for a while and during in New York I saw a ASL class. ASL means American Sign Language. It was in my list of 'courses wanting to do'. Well I did not, but that had noting to do with the class. I left New York before signing up for it. While being in Virginia I did not enroll any classes. To clarify, I need to have 6 credits to get my certificate. I did not enroll yet when a friend of me told me she was going to do an ASL courses for 6 credits. It was the ultimate change to get my credits and do the coursers I originally wanted to do.

During the first weekend we stayed in a lovely hotel and got the ASL class. The entire morning we got most of the basic signs taught. It was a long day and that was the first time in over a year that I was back in a school bank. It was funny because I had found myself having trouble to concentrate. Being in school and being focus is a real skill. Never been a focused student, but this was worst. However at the end I knew a lot of signs. The teacher showed us the signs multiple times and so I got a good change of getting most of them. It is so hard to learn. My hand-brain coordination is not that good. But I'm been able to start a conversation and count to 20. That is basically as much as I can in French and that is a language I had for over 3 years. 

The next morning we were suppose to get more classes. Not even ASL but some random classes. We woke up and non of the lights worked. Strange, we had ordered some breakfast and the guy who brought us or food told up that there was a black out. Great why don't they fix it, was my first though. Jokingly saying that we hoped that the classes got delayed so that we could lay in a little more. When we came downstairs the whole hotel was pitch black. Quite cool actually. We had to sit down and listen really carefully. Summary: CLASSES GOT CANCELED and we were still going to get our credits. I felt like that schoolgirl again that got the call that here first hour got canceled. I was wide away all of a suedes, could not be any happier.

Well we went home and a month later we had to back. This time I didn't want the second day to be canceled. I got pretty cool classes that day. Well Saturday morning weekend number two. Teacher forgot that she needed to give a class. She was two hours late. For some reason our classes got a lot of luck. During those two hours I was been able to actually meet my fellow ASL students. The first weekend I did not really meet new people because we were only in class, listening to the teacher. Now we had two hours to meet the girls in the room. Well there was Eileen. A German girl right in front of me. We had a good conversation. With not only Eileen but all the girls in the row in front of me. I feel like I just left everyone else out. Don't mean it like that, haha. It was so nice to meet new people and she lived really close, YEESS!! The teacher came and she basically repeated the first weekend class. she wanted to see how much we remembered. I did remembered quite a lot, but I was hiding in the back so did not really got many turns. My fascination for sign language grew a lot during these weekends. During lunch I set with Ines. A spanish girl who had lived in Brussels for a couple of months. Not that Flemish is the same as Dutch but she new quite a few words. It intrigued me and we had a good chat. Though Ines did not lived close at all. She lives in Dever, Colorado. That was kind of sad because I really liked her. Now I have a new address in a city I might visit ;) That afternoon we had a fencing class. don't want to make this blog too long, but it was awesome. Apart from the 5 million bug bites and the high humanity. It was insanely hot outside and the fencing teacher decided to give a class outside. Well I still enjoyed it a lot and I also found out that I am not the greatest fencer. Ines in the other hand was a natural. Even dared the teacher to fight with her, daredevil !

The next days I had life skill class. Did not know what to expect. She teacher was amazing and had to hold my tears in a couple of times. She touched me in the deepest of my mind and heart. She told us that being in the states, far away from home, shows guts. I have heard that multiple times. For some reason she brought is just right. This was only the beginning of all we were going to achieve. Don't be scared if you don't know what you want further in life. Try to do what you like and opportunities will come. In those hours in her class I changed a lot in my nearest future. I need to follow my heart and then my mind will follow. Sometimes I just think to much. I am going to do things I feel like doing. Sometimes they will bring some risk to be honest. Sometimes it wasn't the right thing to do, but hé I am like that anyway. I shouldn't be scared to fail. The only failure is never to try. Being were I am right now is quite the risk itself. Listen, not that I changed my whole life plan all of a sudden. It just cleared up a lot for me. I got more and more excited for all what is going to come. 

Last Summer Weekend

I'm not going to lie. Sometime life takes over and I just can't get myself to calm down. Exicetment and millions of other feelings going through my body. I like that most of the time. I can strangely enjoy it when life takes over. But I knew I needed to get it together and direct my life myself again. So I am going to try to get the three blogpost I want to write up on this blog. I commit now that I will do that this week. That is a huge commitment because my life is not going to be a little less crazy this week. First I am going to write about this weekend, because than at least I will have this one up, haha.

This might have been the last summer weekend. The weather was getting slightly colder the past two weeks. This weekend the heat came back. Just for this weekend. This week the temperature will drop again. So I was going to make the best of it. 

I did a lot this weekend. I did a lot for my standards. Saturday morning the Oldest had a Girls scout meeting at a horse farm. My host mom asked me if I liked to come along. I was so happy she asked me. That is weird because I do not really like horses, I don't hate them, but I also don't really like them. We had to drive for an hour and I finally got to see an other side of Virginia. It was gorgeous there. It was the more of the county side, not like in Texas cowboy movies though. Maybe not because we were still in Virginia and not in Texas, but I was close. It was greener, I guess. It was a glorious day, the sun was out and the weather was more than perfect to ride horses. So that was exactly what I DIDN'T do. No I don't ride horses. The animals are amazing to look at, so that is was I did. I looked and waved! The barn was so picturesque (fancy word alert). It was a red barn aside of a small river. Green hills on the background and horses on the fields around it. This farm was over 200 years old and George Washington had visited it. Great facts aren't they? It got me. This was so nearby and I had not even seen anything like this during all those months. The gorgeous nature slammed me in the face and that was more than deserved. I needed to wake up and see more than Washington DC. 

Later that day I got out right away.This trip was already planned for two weeks, but the timing was perfect. That afternoon Eileen picked me up. How I met Eileen? haha, That will future in one of my next blogs. Well oke, I met Eileen during my sign language classes two weeks ago. But I will write an other blog about those classes. Eileen is a person I just clicked with and I am so happy that she lives nearby. We drove to the National Harbor. We wanted to have some good pictures. So we sat down and we found out right away that the light was way to bright to get a nice one. It was such a glorious day and the sun was bright like never before, what is amazing. Maybe not for a the good picture. I will tell you something, a secret that is not that big of a secret. There is this time in the day that has the name 'golden hour'. It is right before the sun sets. That is the best time of the day to get some good photo's.The light is soft and if gives you a golden glow. So we first had some dinner and decided to come back later. Right when we came back the golden hour started. We shamelessly took quite a lot of pictures. We climbed on the rocks not knowing if that was illegal and smiled as if we had just found a million dollars. When the sun was set and my camera was sick and tired of the mermaid poses we finally stopped. We had some relaxing time at the harbor and enjoyed the evening as much as we could. It was great to talk with Eileen. Not only because she laughed at my stupid jokes that weren't funny most of the time, but also because there were so many things we have in common. We are still getting to know each other. Sometimes it's so nice to start with a blank page that you can fill with just the right stories. New friendships can sometimes be as good as the old ones. It was a lovely day and I kind of had the feeling of having a little vacation. 

Next morning. I went out with Veerle and guess what, she is Dutch, GREAT! Even though I am here to increase my English it is just great to speak my native language sometimes. The entire day I've been speaking Dutch. Not so great if you want to write a English blogpost that evening and your head is still half in Dutch mode. Never really been good with my grammar anyway so bare with me! Veerle had exactly the same feeling I had. We wanted to see more and do more than just walk around DC. I know Veerle for a couple of months now. Our friendship has grown overtime and I feel like we are getting along better and better. I know I am the only Dutch person she is meeting up with here. She feels the same about meeting Dutch people. We left that tiny country to get to know new people with different cultures. Well sometimes it is just nice to talk your own language. It is the most entertaining thing to talk Dutch in the States. NO ONE understands you and you get the craziest looks. It is funny how people try to figure out where you are from, but they simply can't. Most Americans can identify Spanish and German. But you can see their thoughts in the look of there eyes "That doesn't sound like German" Well no it isn't and it is not similar at all. After 5 years of German at school I can still barely understand it. 

Veerle and I decided that we wanted to go picnicking at the Great Falls. I went there on my 20th Birthday. That was months ago and it was when Winter just ended. The trees were still bare and the river was all grey, back then. Now it is the end of summer. The trees are green, some are even turing red and orange and the water was really blue, just like the sky. It was extremely hot. It was over 30C, please don't ask me what that is in Fahrenheit. We found a little spot in the shade and served ourselves a nice lunch. We sat there for quite a while. We mostly talked, about simply everything that were are not been able to explain in English. Things that only Dutch people understand. Haha, Oke not sure if that was a thing, but now it is!

How easily a weekend can be really good. Find some friends and go out. Explore! It is not that hard and it might take some time to get there. I am having such a great time now. I had such a great weekend and that was just because I was out and about. I went to a horse farmhouse with my host family, to the National Harbor to watch the sunset and I had a lovely picnic at the gorgeous Great Falls. The summer will come to an end and the Autumn will kick in. So I think I did the best I could to get the most out of it. I am really excited for Autumn. Fireplaces, warm drinks, orange leaves and Halloween. I am the worst to scare. I will cry as soon as you touch my shoulder when I don't expect it. So don't know how excited I actually am about halloween, but still. It was still summer this weekend, but I am pretty sure it is time to put the shorts away and get the wooly cardigans out. I am excited for it, quite a lot to be honest!

Skyping with Family

This moment just needed to be shared on my blog. A 3,5 hours long moment. 

I have huge, huge family on my dad's side. My dad has seven siblings. Three sisters and four brothers. They are all in a relationship, there first, second or maybe even 10th marriage. haha no I'm joking there, but I do have a lovely mixed up family. I have 20 cousins and most of them are in a relationship or even married. Some of them are having children some don't, most of them don't. I made a family tree this week and I counted a family of 60. I actually only counted 59, but I am pretty sure I made a mistake and forgot someones boy or girlfriend.  

Well that said, they all came together. You don't want to know how bad I would  have loved it to be there. It is pretty rare that we come together. The last one was last year, but I couldn't make that because of my final exams. Before that one, I have to guess, but it might have been three years. I love family, I love my family and I wish I could have been there. 

On monday my dad skyped me and told me that basically everyone would be there except from me. Autch, haha. How is that even possible. Mostly there are at least 5 or more that can't make it. No, this time was different. Everyone was there apart from me. I couldn't make it and I was devastated to hear that I was the only one. My dad made me a promise "I am going to Skype you while I am there" and he did. 

This morning I woke up super excited knowing that I was going to Skype my family. Around 2pm I finally got a call. Jumped from a quite house into a room with 60 people. The connection was bad and I mostly heard a lot background noises. But my smile was bigger than ever before. It was my sister that tried to show me around. The connection was pretty bad and every time there was someone new in front of the camera the screen stopped moving. It was extremely frustrating. As soon as she had put the laptop down at one point it got better. Aunts, uncles and cousins came by to say 'hi' or to have a little chat. 

After a while it was quiz time. Is 'Ranking the stars' an international program or is it Dutch? I don't know, I'll explain it briefly. There were 30 questions like; Who has the most clothes, who is the most vain, who throws the best parties and more. Everyone had to rank each other. For every question there was a top 10. I made it into 5 of them; -Who is the most stuffed animals? I have quite a few. How my family knows that I don't know. -Who is the most jealous? Well, well, well. My answer to that is that I was really jealous of everyone being together and me sitting behind a computer screen. So I guess I deserved that place, haha - Who is the biggest 'mummy's girl or boy'? That was a not to translatable word. It is basically someone who calls his/her mom a lot and stuff. Fun fact there, I made it to that list but as a little girl I was actually a daddy's girl. Actually still are, huh dad? The last two meant the most to me - Who is the most adventures? I have to be honest and say that I have cousins who did bigger adventures than I did/am doing, but at least i made the top 10. And last but not least -Who is out of the county the most? Well guess that is true. I was the only one not being in Holland during the family event. I didn't make it in the top 3 though. Apparently I have a cousin who fills his tank in Germany so he leaves the county quite a lot! Have to say that he lives near the border of Holland and Germany, But still he is going in and out more than I do. Oh, note for my family. Kirsten lived in Oslo, Norway for a couple months. Why was she not in the top 10? This family is so big that apparently we do not keep track of each other enough seeing the top 10s. I laughed so hard. 

Since I am here this was by far the best Skype call ever. It took 3,5 hours and I think I at least have waved to everyone. Got the question "Who are you doing over there" more than 10 times and had a couple of good, longer chats. Sadly enough my 90 year old grandma gone home before I was been able to Skype. It was a little much for her. She is the foundation of this family. She is an amazing woman and I am so thankful for her. 

My family. I love them a lot. It is weird to sit behind a screen. There were moments that I totally forgot how far way I was. I was been able the anticipate the quiz and see everyone. Only if I could teleport myself. I wish I could be there this weekend. I was super exhausted after that call, it was a lot. It was strange closing my laptop. All of a sudden it was totally quite again, but my smile was still huge. For a moment I was back in Holland attending my family event. Living in the century makes being away so much easier. I'm so happy I was been able to be part of the event. I'm even happier knowing that I did that while being in the USA! 

And Continue

That might have been the most craziest two weeks of my life. I kind of say that a lot, but this time I honestly mean it. These weeks were insane. Emotionally and physically. I did everything I could to see everyone. Turns out this was just the tip of the iceberg. I am so grateful for everyone in Holland. I didn't even knew that you all were there. I know you all are important to me, but for some reason I though I wasn't for you. Sorry for thinking that. I have seen so many happy faces by seeing my face. That boost a lot of happy feelings up in me. I've even had people crying because I could actually hug them instead of calling, Skyping or texting. It's incredible, that my mom cried wasn't a surprise for me, but the fact that she wasn't the only one means a lot. What it means, not a clue. I think I somewhere, some who turend out to be a good friend! Mission accomplished!

My Oma's funeral was really pretty and I got the courage to speak. That is the only thing I want to tell about it here. Just because I don't need to share everything. It sometimes seems to look like I do share everything. This one is just for me, my family and everyone who came to say goodbye to my Oma.

And than it was time to go home again. I remember getting anxious right before I left to go to New York. Back then I was so excited to go and I was just being anxious for the unknown. Now, I knew exactly what was waiting for me and I still did not want to go.That was only because I was so sad to leave again. To go trough the pain again of saying goodbye. The last two days I didn't even wanted to leave the house anymore. At the same time I was getting really nervous of not doing anything. I was confusing myself badly. The fact was that I was still doing a lot, but I wanted everyone to come to me. Luckily enough are the people around me the best and most sweetest persons on earth and everyone understood the situation. 

Coming back to Holland wasn't fun, but it was still the greatest gift. I pinched myself multiple times. Once eve just hearing my moms voice made me cry. It was the first morning being back home. I was still in bed, waking up and she was on the phone with someone. She wasn't even talking to me, but I cried and I was letting it all sink in. That moment, her voice in the distance, like nothing changed. A lot of people asked me how hard it is to go back home and especially going away again. It was hard and the circumstances were even harder. But I knew one really important thing; I was  going back to the USA to finish this adventure. That kept me up. I was so mad on the airport flying to DC. One man that works on the airport smiled friendly at me. I wanted to hit him really hard. In no near future was I going to appreciate him doing his job. I was mad at him, he was staying in Holland and he was probably not enjoying every second of it. Only if he did I could have smiled back, but probably not. I was furious. It took me a while to overcome that. I was such a childish child. It ended when I walked in my room and laid on my bed. I texted my family: "I'm home, had a great flight" That said it all. I was home. I have multiple homes now. 

It was the an other gift of the trip. My realization what an awesome time I'm having right now. And it is sometimes is really hard to realize that. If the girls are driving me crazy, what happens sometimes. I get frustrated and a need to find that realization. Count to 10 and there it is. Or when my alarm clock goes off. No matter what, that's simply not a moment to enjoy. I do not, I repeat, do NOT like mornings. Fun fact, these three kids don't either. Makes waking them up a great thing, um not. haha. But that's life, my life. I love it. And I do realize it. Picking them up mostly makes me realize it. Seeing them after having some time for myself. They are happy to see me and that is great. I love to tuck the youngest in. She asks me for a might night kiss and loves to sing a song. 

This evening I was off. I was in my room and I heard a little voice. She was still up while she was in her bed for over an hour. I opened her door and there she was, wide awake. In her bed, still up, talking to herself. A face of a guilty girl looking at me. "hi, Nienke" "come go sleep it's past you bed time" and I walked away while I kept her door open. She looked and me and I signed her that I was watching her. She loved to fool around. So she gave me the sign back. Not much later she walked towards me. She had covered herself with her blanket struggling to walk straight, walking into the doorpost, my side table and at the end finally me. I was trying not to laugh, but I couldn't keep it in. She made a little notch and her big brown eyes appeared. "Nienke can you tuck me in?" I was melting from the inside. THAT WAS ADORABLE, "Yes, I'll tuck you in if you go to sleep" Not even a minute after I tucked her in she was gone, fast asleep. 

So little extra story for you. I love these girls so yes I'm happy to be back. I knew from the second I left that I was coming back. That is how I did it. One simple thought. I was mad, sad, furious and whatever more. I was going anyway. I was fighting from the inside, but I knew from day one who was going to win. And had no jet leg what is still great. Going to Holland I had some struggles staying up after being up for over 30hours, but that was it. Being here in the USA, falling asleep at 8:30pm the first night and waking up BECAUSE OF MY ALARM, hi I still hate that moment. That was 7am and I did not wake up anytime earlier. Day two and my jet leg was nowhere to be found,  I won. I'm emotionally really tired, exhausted. Though I am doing fine, I am doing better than I expected. These weeks have gotten me up and down. Been really low, but than I saw my mom and I could hug her. I could give her an actual kiss and I could hold her tight. That ment the world to me. Wish I could still do that now. 

I am back and I will stay here for now on. No more trips to Holland until the real return please. I was great to be back. Thanks for holding me tight if you did. Thanks for laughing with me when I needed and Thanks for wiping my tears of my cheeks. Nothing has changed while everything is different. Thanks for letting me share my adventure with you and thanks for you telling me yours I missed.  I'll come back, I promise. For now I am living a crazy adventure and that is what I want the most. Thanks.  

Home

It is unreal that I am home. That my mom is sitting next to me while I write this blog. That my cat is putting his nails into my legs, that I hear my brother whistling and my that my sister is getting ready for bed upstairs. It is a unreal time. 

Being home whilst this adventure is such a strange thing. I just don't get it. Everything I do feels like a treasure. Every message feels like a warm blanket around my heart. I never asked to come home because I knew that I could life without it. But now I got it back it might be harder than before to let it go. 

My sweet, sweet Oma passed away on the 4th of July 2014. Surrounded by the ones who loved her and I was one of them. I was in time to talk to her. To thank her and to hold her close. I sat next to her multiple times. She squeezed my hand and tickled the inside of it. An other time she grabbed my hand and laid my hand on her heart while stil holding it. I felt her heartbeat. I felt it like never before. Right now I wish I could do that again. 

On a day that I was suppose to celebrate the Birthday of the USA I was with my Oma. She is a hero, right before she passed away she talked to every single person that was there. My mom, aunt, uncle, my cousins, my siblings and me. Everyone got the most personal little talk. She told me to love everyplace I will live. That is doesn't matter were I end up. I was free to go wherever, whenever. That she was proud of me forever. Than she smiled at me and I thanked her for bringing me home. She started her journey. I secretly hope she stopped by the USA to watch all the fireworks. I miss her so much. I just want her to open her eyes and look at me again. I want to listen to her beautiful stories and I wish I could tell her all of mine. 

I am home. This week was super intense and I do more than I actually can. Days feel longer and I try to see everyone. I make the most out of the time I got. My emotions are all over the place. I have cried, sadly enough, every single day, but I haven't laughed this hard in a long time either. All my loved once around me all the time. It is more than I could have asked for. 

If you ask me how I am doing. I am doing good. Holland and a specially Haarlem and Vogelenzang are home. That will never change. I feel great being here, but I wish it was for a different reason. And at the same time I know that I am ready to finish my year over in Virgina. I am going to make even more out of the days that I will be here in Holland. If I didn't already know, I would have known it by now. I have the most amazing and caring friends. In Holland and all over the world. Every messages means so much to me and I hope that you all know that I love you a lot. 

It is a unreal world sometimes. I will take all of the good out of something sad. This is be best gift I could have get. My Oma's best and last gift and I will always thank her for it. 

Voor Oma

Just a quick update about the situation I turned out to be in. I just packed my bags and in a few hours I will be on a plane. Less than two weeks ago I got a text from my mom. Telling that it was important and that we needed to Skype. Before I knew it we were crying. She told me the sad news about my grandma, my Oma. She was in the hospital and  I had to know that it was not going well at all. It was hard for her to tell me that. How do you tell you daughter that her Oma is passing away while she is miles and miles away. There was one thing that seems to be even worst. That I was not there. That I was not been able to say goodbye. It broke her. 

That was two weeks ago and however I had the hope that it was all going to get better it wasn't. Me and my host family are near Boston right now. We drove in two days. I had a whole backup system. I only have internet with WiFi. As soon as we stared driving my mom was not been able to reach me. On the days that I we were driving my Oma was doing oke. If something would happen my mom had to w'app Veryan and she could text me. I would have tried to find the nearest WiFi spot and could get my mom on Skype. I am grateful that that was not needed. 

On the day that my mom told me the news I felt really strong. How sad it is that that was for such a short period it was good. If it happend a month earlier it might have broken me down. How hard it is I am been able to get carry it. I am currently strong enough to say: no matter how emotional I feel I will continue and finish my au-pair adventure. 

Yesterday I skyped my Oma. It was extremely painful. That Skype call was going to show me my Oma alive for the last time. After I hung up I felt worst. All my strength was gone. It was horrible to think that I was never going to see her anymore. It was a complete nightmare. Not much later my mom gave me a message saying that I had to come. I was already planning to go. I was planning of coming for the funeral to be there for my family. Yesterday was a game changer. I Skyped my dad and we called my insurance. They were going to book a flight for me. 

The roller coaster just started. I am flying home today. I am going to say goodbye to my Oma. I am going to be there for my family. It is a huge relieve to know that I am actually going. Not a clue what it is going to do with me. At least it is going to help my mom. Right now that is the most important thing in my live. I will be with her for a couple of days. I love her so much and it is inhumane to see someone in so much pain from such a huge distance. 

This is quite a personal thing to share. This blog is for me. For me in a couple of weeks, months, years. Knowing that I did everything I could. Knowing that family comes first no matter what. No matter how long I have to travel. No matter if that means a emotional breakdown. I know that I am strong and I am going to be strong. 

I didn't check my spelling or grammer because I don't want to read this blog back right now. I will be home for a couple of days. So I am coming back to the USA. Because that is what I want, but more important, that is was Oma wants. Oma I love you, see you soon. 

Reunited

You can guess it. That was amazing. I did wait a week to write about it, to let it all sink in. Terrified to get homesick or feeling left behind. Turns out the opposite happend. I started to feel better and better. After North Carolina I felt great, but I knew that New York was coming up. There was still a cool trip to look forward to. So when I came back from New York I was petrified to get really sad. Don't ask me how, but I didn't. For the first time I was wrong about predicting my feelings. Honestly, I feel better than ever. 

There I go, again in that terrible bus, but I am going to skip that part because it was just horrible. I want to let you all know how good of a time I had. So why waist more time and space about being very, very, very uncomfortable. NEW YOOORRKK! The humanity hit me hard. It had been raining all night and if there is one place were it gets humid. Than it must be a city like New York. I was back. It felt really strange. Realizing that New York is just a city and knowing that there is so much more to see in this huge country. Although I was really happy to be back knowing that my dad and sister were just a few miles away. My bags were, next level, heavy. I could absolutely not wait to enter the apartment. LOCKED and there was no key. We rented a room through airbnb, it was good, small, but good. The cleaner that had to put the envelope with the key on the door left the key inside. So there was no way for me to get in. My phone was about to die and I couldn't text or call my dad or sister. Because my contract doesn't allow me to text international numbers .Then there is only one thing to do; relax and find the rooftop. That one hit me, the rooftop. Seeing the view was indescribable it was ready to get me calm. I was back in that city I had to leave. Then time past really quickly and after a wonder around I came back to the locked door and guess who were there. All of a sudden my dad and sister stood in front of me. Then there is only one way how I would greet them. "Oh wait I have to charge my phone" seriously. I hadn't seen them for half a year and as soon as they were there I could only think about my phone dying. Congrats Nienke, you are officially the worst person ever. Though I did not got the chance to get it charged. My dad hugged me till there was no air to breath and my sister got me there too. 

I can make the stories up right now. How I started crying and how I missed them so much. Well I did miss them big time, but as soon as they were there it felt like I never left their side. I didn't felt like crying. I felt so happy, I could only smile. My smile was not erasable in the near future. After we got freshened up, we decided to go to the park across the street and  we talked about everything. I did not had to get them up-to-date. I talked to them on Skype a day before and w'app is keeping them pretty much up-to-date every second. I just wanted to show them the city. I was curious how they though I had changed. I was ready to have them close, really close.

In those days we have seen pretty much every high light of the city. We've done things that I hadn't done yet and we crossed a few things off my bucket list. Le Miserable on Broadway. I wanted to see a show there really badly and as I thought I had a year to do that. But since I left after 3 months this was the time to do it. My dad apparently had seen almost every single musical so after some discusion I got them on my side and we bought tickets to see Le Miserable. It was a early birthday present for my dad, who's birthday is June 30th and it sort of was a father's day present. As he told us that is was fathers day that day. But my dad had something for us too. He booked us a helicopter flight. I had never even been even close to one so that was honestly the best thing ever. The weather wasn't really helping so it got delayed to the next day but I still can't believe it. He is the best dad. It was foggy but I didn't mind. It was such an experience. I got to sit next to the pilot all by myself. The pilot was a woman, like yes, that is how I like it! She inspired me, I think a want to be an helicopter pilot too now. Especially above New York, I think, not sure. Haha I wish, I wish.

We did so much more, went to the 9/11 memorial, Wall street, Staten Island Ferry, Brooklyn Bright and Brooklyn promenade. Visited the New York Public library and walked down on Fifth Avenue. Stood on top of the rock and climbed the red stairs on Times Square. Watched Baseball in Central park, saw a broadway show and had dinner with Svenja and Kristina. Wondered around in the National History and Nature Museum and been attacked by squirrels and birds. Got to sit in the front seat of a helicopter and we pretended to be a NYU student. 

It was so good to get my battery charged. My family means everything to me. I miss them so much. But now I am going to tell you something, maybe, unexpected. I feel stronger. I hope not to give my mom a heart attack, but I might consider staying longer. After half a year nothing has changed between me and my family. We all changed a bit but those changes had been captured by Skype already. Hopefully my sister and brother get there degrees and I do feel bad not being there. I simple know that I do not have to be there physically. I hope they know that I think about them a lot, say all the time. The friends I have back home are basically the best people on this planet. I don't text everyone all the time, but as soon as I do it is all fine. 

Being away from home can be really hard. But had made me feel so much better about everything. I feel more confident and I dare to stand up for myself more. Since I'm back from New York I feel bad bringing the girls to school. I want to spent more time with them. Although I might think that now,I know when they will be home all the time next week I probably disagree with this. So for everyone who wants to be an au-pair and is afraid to leave home behind, JUST DO IT. Your family and friends will wait. And how hard this may sound, they can do it without you. Give them a sign of love now and than. Let them know you care about them and they will give that back to you. A year is long, but now that I passed my 6 months I start to seriously consider to stay longer. Times goes really quick and before you know you will be back home. AND I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT YET!   

North Carolina

Even though a friend told me to make a lot of pictures, I didn’t. I took it all in as a memory. I felt annoyed by taking the camera out to take a picture. That means a lot. It means that I didn’t really felt like sharing my weekend. I felt like living my weekend. The weekend I’ve been looking forward to for so long. It was unbelievable. Still can’t believe that it all happend. Now that I am back home I can take a moment to share my weekend. To tell you how Memorial Weekend 2014 turned out to be the most amazing weekend ever. 

After weeks of knowing to go, it was finally here. The bus trip was beautiful but really uncomfortable. For some reason I just couldn't sit stil. Might have been my excitement. Then almost 5 hours is really long. Arriving in North Carolina was so good. Veryan and Will picked me up at the busstop. The weekend could start!

Basically we did a whole lot of nothing. Hanging out at the different pools. Laughing a lot. Meeting new people. Spending more times at pools. Making a bonfire at a lake during sunset. Went on a boat. Talking a lot and laughing a bit more. I needed that more than ever. Since I came I have spent everyday at the house, two different places, but still I was at home. For the first time I packed my backs and I could finally just relax. 

I might not have the hardes job in the world. Not at all, I love it. But I needed some time for myself. I don't know how a teen mom does it. I really enjoy the time not being responsible for others. If I am at or around the house I will always make sure that the kids are fine, even when I am not working. So being in North Carolina was a moment to take a breath and not to care. 

It was hot, upper 80F. I am not used to that weather. Summers in Holland are first of all; not that hot, second; only one week a year and third; it is only may so it is still spring. So we spent all of our time beging at places to cool down. The pool on Saturday was just mind blowing. It was at a student complex or whoever they call it here. There was a DJ and a lot of American cliches. I was pretty tired and the sun was burning all of my energy but I couldn't fall asleep with that around me. For them it was so normal, for me it was something I didn't even knew was true. It made me giggle, but from the outside I kept cool. haha. 

Oh yes, Veryan you did it. You created a team around you and you made my weekend unforgettable. Right now, a few days later I kind of feel homesick towards North Carolina. I want to and will come back as soon as I can. Last blog I wrote down that I had high expectations. Not knowing that they were been able to make it even better than I expected. 

I told Veryan, as a joke, that I wanted to have a bonfire at a lake. Check. They made it happen. We sat down at the Falls Lake and burnt a fire. The fact that we started the fire during sunset was just out of this world. I might have cried from the inside. Enjoying every second I was sitting there. It was gorges, more that I could have asked for. To end the night we watch a movie in a homecinema. I laughed so hard because that was further than my expectations could reach. I wasn't been able to even think about it all before. 

Everything I write here is so American in my eyes. I might be insulting the entire country. Or they might all laugh at me, but I am still a very Dutch girl. Very Dutch and I am only used to small, smaller and the smallest. So I think it is really awesome and I think am kind of a loser, yes. haha

The last day, I was so sad about leaving. We went to the pool and after that we got on a boat on Falls Lake. My bus was leaving at 6 so we sort of had time. But it was flying. Before we knew we had to get off the boat to drive towards the bus. 

It was so sad to leave but I have never left with a bigger smile. Veryan and Will we're funnier than ever. Pretending to be my parents. I got the weirdest looks. But seriously if the people around us were thinking they were my parents than that isn't our fault. I almost pied my pants of laughing so they must have known. 

I loved my weekend. I was beyond my expectations. Far, far beyond. Thanks to everyone. Before I came I had only met Veryan. I had not felt that comfortable with people that quick in a long time. Oke, I can write a million times how grateful I am but I am guessing they know it because I have said it already a kazillion times. So I think I just end this blog with saying that I can't wait to go back ! 

New Adventures

My excitement is all over the place, like all over the place. The next few weekends I finally get to spent time with people I miss a lot. I finally booked myself some trips. Or I already did this a while ago, but now they are soon to arrive. 

This weekend, memorial weekend, I'll go south. Only one state though, North Carolina. On Saturday morning I'll take the bus at 7am to visit Vezzo, Veryan. I miss that munchkin so much. Veryan was in New York together with me. She was there during my introduction days in Midtown Manhattan. It is a weird thing that we actually only have spent 3 days together. It feels like I know her so much longer. well I do know her half a year now, but in person, face to face, we only just met. I just can't wait to get up, way to early, so that I can see her. Those days that we were in New York were amazing and it feels like I am going to have that same feelings all over again. Can't stop smiling when I think about it. this will be my first trip. Why I waited that long? I don't know. It might make this trip even more special. 

Veryan made plans for the weekend. From what she told me, it is going to be exactly as I imagine a summer weekend in North Carolina. I think my expectations are pretty high. I should't do that because I am scared it might not come true. Honestly tough, even if it is going to rain the whole weekend and we spent all our time inside, it will be a weekend that I'll never forget. -side note, just checked the weather forecast, it's going to be warm and sunny-

I'll have a full weekend and memorial day off. That will be my first long weekend off. since I arrived in December I have been working all the time. I had a weekend off every month but I didn't do anything special with that time. Now I am finally going to do something with my time. My first break out of the house. 

And than it is going to be June soon. When I come back there will only be a few days left before my dad and sister arrive in New York. The time has past by so quickly but I'm so happy that this weekend is about to arrive. I knew since January that they were coming. Now it is almost here. I will again take the bus, but this time I'll go North. NEW YORK. I miss that city so much and when I left it was winter. So it will be a completely different feeling now that it is summer! 

We made some plans, My dad, sister and I but what we didn't really schedule things yet. They have places they want to see and so have I. For me, personally, I am just really happy that they are going to bring me 'stroopwaffels, ontbijtkoek en hagelslag' that is the only thing I care about. haha NOOO. I am going to save my tears. I can cry out off happiness only by the though of hugging them. They are almost here, almost. I am counting down, can not wait.   

I have been wondering around my town and I am ready to explore more. Excitement all over the place for sure. Seeing people I miss and combining that with some free time and awesome places. Places I have never been before, places I really want to see again. I will not stop smiling, maybe I will never stop smiling. Maybe that is a awesome idea, not even maybe, it just is.
    

Four Counties United

This blog I promise you to not go to deep. I think it is time for a flat and a back to basic blog. One were I tell you what I am actually doing here. Not one were I tell you what happens in my head, because I shouldn't think that you are all bordered by that. So I am going to tell you what I did.

First of all, Lets just say that the weather is amazing. Except from some rain it is basically summer here. This week it is going to be 85F everyday, haha. Now I have to be honest, I had to look that up for you. I knew it was going to be 30C. I don't get the Fahrenheit at all. I Love the summer weather, right now I love it. Pretty soon I probably wouldn't anymore. Never been a summer person, never really liked really hot weather. I know that is going to be a real summer. Not a summer like in Holland were we are literally talking about a heath wave if we are having 25C for 5 days or more. Seeing the weather forecast I know that the first 'heatwave' is going to hit Virginia this week. 

Than this, I am in a generation were we all are on the internet, basically everyday. So there are a lot of things to say about that. Most of those things I agree with. Because I also think that we get sucked up and waist or time a lot on here. But there are some really amazing sides of it as well. Two years ago I went to Estonia for a exchange project for school. And I am pretty sure I already wrote that somewhere here. So am I sure that I wrote that that was such an amazing experience. Well I went there with a bunch school friends, because it was a project organized by my school, but there were also Italians. And right now I doubt more than ever if there were other countries involved. Pretty sure there weren't. In that week we all connected and got along really well. Everyone is so openminded and very adventures. 

So at the end of the week we all left back to our own county and the people from Estonia of course just stayed. I don't know how many year back I have to go to say that you will probably lose the connection because writing mails or letters is just not working well. Maybe with the boy or girl that hosted you and maybe one more with who you connected with really well, but that that would be it. Right now in this generation we add each other on Facebook. It doesn't say that you write one and other, but you are been able to know what everyone is up to. So I knew that there was one Italian friend that moved to Missouri. That is somewhere in the middle of the US. So she posted on Facebook that she was in DC and was loving it. I jumped on that opportunity and asked her for how long she will be here. Her answer was , Wednesday. So asking her on a Sunday night we decided to meet on Monday for lunch. You can say what you want about the internet generation as much as I will agree, I will disagree with you too. This would have never happened if there was no Facebook. 

Camillia is a exchange student and she is doing High School. I felt pretty jealous, how cool it sounds and seeing her pictures it must be pretty awesome.  At the same time she told me she would have loved to live near a big city. I have to say that I hit the jackpot with that. I am not happy with the fact I had to change families but I can tell everyone for the rest of my life that I have lived near the biggest city and the capitol of the USA. I am proud of that and I love it. We had lunch and a wonder around. Talked about how cool it is to meet. We united four countries. Me as representing Holland and she is did that for Italy. That is two, I know. But we met each other in Estonia and we were both currently living in the USA. That is four. My math skills are brilliant.

So I am going to enjoy my day with my shorts and sunglasses on. Now the weather in Holland is really rainy and bad I like to tell you all that. I think we had one or two weeks of spring weather. Now it is bloody hot and I need to enjoy it before I start complaining about bugs, sweaty hands, keeping the window open at night and waking up at 4am because the new neighbors have chicken and more. haha. 

I love you all, bye bye and smile. That is how I used to end my blogs. Apparently I am not really consistent with that! 

Time

It is so obvious. The time is passing by. That a moment that you life right now will soon starts to be a memory. sometimes to remember, sometimes to just have lived. A lifetime isn't as long as I think it is. Right now I am twenty years old. What basically means that I have spent twenty year doing what I did. It feels like I havent achieved a lot. I graduated. So that didn't happen without working for it. I life in the USA, were I also had to work my butt off for. I am the au-pair I wanted to be for over 3 years. And struggles have been fought and won. I am only twenty years old so who am I to say that I feel like I haven't achieved a lot. It's seems obvious. Well if the first twenty years I lived weren't the year for me to achieve a lot, will that mean that the next twenty will. If I blink with my eyes, will I be there ? 

It's deep. But I start thinking about it. This is my sixth month here and I only have twelve months. Time is passing by so scarily fast. May 2007 I lost my granddad. The only one I had. It feels like was last week talking to him, hugging him, losing him. I honestly can't believe that it is seven years ago. I give my stuffed elephant a kiss every night before I fall asleep. The stuffed animal he gave me a month before he passed away. How many kisses that animal has got. How much strength he gives me. It is seven years ago and every time I see the pandora charm on my bracelet I miss him. He was 80 years old when I was born and I am so happy that I got to meet him, that I remember him. That he was strong and old enough to make my mum's greatest fear not to come true. Because I can remember him. I always will. It is seven years ago. Opa would have been 100 this year in June. He isn't here anymore but I will celebrate his birthday with joy. I'll raise my glass and hope to get as old and healthy as he was. 

Can we all agree on the fact that time goes by way to quick. Even when I think that time goes way to slow, it goes fast. Because thinking back at my time at school I wish I was still there. To just be the simple human being I am. I don't say that my life is complicated but I wish I could still get away with "I don't know what I want to study". I wish that times were I have to pay rent or bills weren't coming closer every day. But it is. And I need to get my head around a study I really like. 

Next month my dad and sister are coming to New York City and I can't wait to go back and see them. But before that day is here. I'll enjoy today. Because I can't believe that I am were I wanted to be for over 3 years. That I achieved a main goal in life I had made. How tired or sad I can feel. It can't beat the feeling of excitement. It can't beat the fact that I life the live I really wanted to life. I am honestly happy the time has passed till today. That I made it to this place.  And the that the tear that has dropped can dissolve in a huge smile. 

Happy Birthday to Me!

From now on I will sound way more grown up. Did that mean that a week ago I was a lot more childish? No absolutely not. The fact is that I am not a teenager anymore. But I will not lose my teenager self. What I meant with that was that it will sound more grown up. The word 'twenty'. I turn twenty and for me that is not going to mean a lot. Still to young to go out and party here and till to young to get a glass of wine in public. Well that is how it is. 

Celebrating my birthday this year was in every word different. First of all, I turnt 20 on April 17th this year. A day earlier. There is no date as ugly as that day. I have never disliked a date more than that one. And only because I have to wait one more day. Yes I can be super inpatient. 

Just when I started diner I got messages of my dad and some friends. I didn't forget it but I wasn't looking at the clock all the time. So when it actually was 6pm and my phone started buzzing I realized that in Holland it was April 18th. And if I was still in Holland it immediately felt like it was my birthday. Anouk started calling me and my host mom told me to answer it. So there she was, her voice almost made me cry. The sweetest wishes and of course a song. Pour girl stayed up until 12pm, or maybe not just for me. "The parting goes on without you, Nienk" says she to herself.   

The next morning, April 18th, my actual birthday. and I still think it is the most amazing day of the year. Only the sound of it makes me happy. Looking at a calendar or seeing it on my phone makes me smile. That is not weird, at least I think so. I really wanted to dress up. Tights and a dress are quite unusual for me. It is just not convenient to play with kids in a dress. Plus I love wearing jeans and t-shirts. So I decided to wear a dress that I actually saved to wear on my birthday. And Finally that morning I was allowed to read the cards that my family and friends sent me. I did not received that many card in years. 

My phone buzzed, this time it was Noortje. I was about to leave but that could wait a bit. I miss her a lot. Good to speak with her and quickly update her on me. While she needs to update me more about her, because in the meantime the went to Dubai. Sadly there was not a long time to talk. It was time to go. A new adventure with a old friend. I got my text from Anne that they arrived. 

Anne lives in Chigago, the windy city. I met Anne in New York City during the introduction days. It was amazing to she her again and spent my Birthday with her and Guilia, her  friend who lives near me. They planed a mini road trip. First we went to the Great Falls, Not a waterfall but a place in the potomic river were the water.... whatever I do not even have  a clue were I am talking about. Well, the weather was good, no sun but warm. We stayed there for two hours and took a huge amount of photo's, read selfies. After two hours we moved on. Next stop; Annapolis, I did not even heart of it once before. It is in Maryland near Baltimore. Just found out, thanks to wikipedia, that it is actually the capitol of Maryland. Though baltimore is bigger and has more citizens. Annapolis is such a cute city. The Navy it settled in Annapolis. For a second I though we were in England. Oh, haha I love wikipeadia, while I try to write my blogpost I got totally distracted. Do you want to know what I just found out. Annapolis is a sister city of Talinn, Estonia. In 2012 I celebrated my 18th birthday there! I was in Parnu, but still. It makes a circle be rond. moving on with Annapolis, it was so pretty, we walked around and sat down in the most nicest Starbucks ever. Because there is one thing I really wanted and that was some WiFi now and then. Starbucks is everywhere in the States and they will always provide you with some WiFi! than we strolled a bit more. To the bay and walked trough old American/English style streets. 

Just a moment to appreciate all the messages,  just wauw. I got a lot, lot. not only on Facebook but on basically every social media and more. Being far away from home is hard a specially on days like your birthday. But I had such a great day and all those messages brought home a little bit closer. 

After Annapolis we drove back home. While driving back the GPS brought us through the downtown Washington DC during the traffic jam. Awesome, haha that was a way to show Anne the Capitol and the Washington Monument for the first time. It also meant that we drove through three different states in one day. So that made our little road trip sound a lot bigger. 

We had a lovely diner at a tapas bar. My host dad was in Boston with the two oldest girls for spring break, so my host mom took me and my friends out to that restaurant. It was delicious. I had such a good time in that restaurant. And of course I had a delicious desert. A 'Happy Birthday cake' ! A real American birthday cake. If you never been here you might not ever have seen or tasted it. They are super sweet and they have a huge amount of icing on it. It looks really good and they do taste good. But make sure you don't cut a to big of a piece. I made that mistake and Anne, Guilia and myself were not been able to finish that piece. 

Coming home after this day was so good. My phone half exploded because I didn't had any service for a couple of hours. Out of nowhere all those messages arrived and again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. But having no service also meant for me that I had no connection to my family. I am more of a family person than I might want to admit. I would have loved it to Skype my family that day, but sadly enough that was not the case. Anne let me be on her 'Hotspot', but the service wasn't good enough for a Skype call. Well that evening I came home. Happy but kind of sad at the same time. It turns out that there is a huge box in the hall. My dad had sent me tulips. I was alone downstair. Totally cried my eyes out reading the card that my dad wrote me. I miss Holland and the beautiful flower field, but he brought a piece to my. I seriously hugged the flowers, is that weird? It was such a sweet thing. I love my dad a lot.

So here I am one week later, still 20. My cards gradually arrived and even my moms gift made it after a 4week travel. I had an amazing day. Seeing more of the county what I would love to do more and having a really good diner. America you are treating me well, in all aspects of that word. I need to enjoy more and I will because I feel more and more honored to be were I am every day. I like it a lot and I like all of you a lot. It means a lot to me that you wrote this, did you know that? now you do!