It is unreal that I am home. That my mom is sitting next to me while I write this blog. That my cat is putting his nails into my legs, that I hear my brother whistling and my that my sister is getting ready for bed upstairs. It is a unreal time.
Being home whilst this adventure is such a strange thing. I just don't get it. Everything I do feels like a treasure. Every message feels like a warm blanket around my heart. I never asked to come home because I knew that I could life without it. But now I got it back it might be harder than before to let it go.
My sweet, sweet Oma passed away on the 4th of July 2014. Surrounded by the ones who loved her and I was one of them. I was in time to talk to her. To thank her and to hold her close. I sat next to her multiple times. She squeezed my hand and tickled the inside of it. An other time she grabbed my hand and laid my hand on her heart while stil holding it. I felt her heartbeat. I felt it like never before. Right now I wish I could do that again.
On a day that I was suppose to celebrate the Birthday of the USA I was with my Oma. She is a hero, right before she passed away she talked to every single person that was there. My mom, aunt, uncle, my cousins, my siblings and me. Everyone got the most personal little talk. She told me to love everyplace I will live. That is doesn't matter were I end up. I was free to go wherever, whenever. That she was proud of me forever. Than she smiled at me and I thanked her for bringing me home. She started her journey. I secretly hope she stopped by the USA to watch all the fireworks. I miss her so much. I just want her to open her eyes and look at me again. I want to listen to her beautiful stories and I wish I could tell her all of mine.
I am home. This week was super intense and I do more than I actually can. Days feel longer and I try to see everyone. I make the most out of the time I got. My emotions are all over the place. I have cried, sadly enough, every single day, but I haven't laughed this hard in a long time either. All my loved once around me all the time. It is more than I could have asked for.
If you ask me how I am doing. I am doing good. Holland and a specially Haarlem and Vogelenzang are home. That will never change. I feel great being here, but I wish it was for a different reason. And at the same time I know that I am ready to finish my year over in Virgina. I am going to make even more out of the days that I will be here in Holland. If I didn't already know, I would have known it by now. I have the most amazing and caring friends. In Holland and all over the world. Every messages means so much to me and I hope that you all know that I love you a lot.
It is a unreal world sometimes. I will take all of the good out of something sad. This is be best gift I could have get. My Oma's best and last gift and I will always thank her for it.
Monday, 7 July 2014
Sunday, 29 June 2014
Voor Oma
Just a quick update about the situation I turned out to be in. I just packed my bags and in a few hours I will be on a plane. Less than two weeks ago I got a text from my mom. Telling that it was important and that we needed to Skype. Before I knew it we were crying. She told me the sad news about my grandma, my Oma. She was in the hospital and I had to know that it was not going well at all. It was hard for her to tell me that. How do you tell you daughter that her Oma is passing away while she is miles and miles away. There was one thing that seems to be even worst. That I was not there. That I was not been able to say goodbye. It broke her.
That was two weeks ago and however I had the hope that it was all going to get better it wasn't. Me and my host family are near Boston right now. We drove in two days. I had a whole backup system. I only have internet with WiFi. As soon as we stared driving my mom was not been able to reach me. On the days that I we were driving my Oma was doing oke. If something would happen my mom had to w'app Veryan and she could text me. I would have tried to find the nearest WiFi spot and could get my mom on Skype. I am grateful that that was not needed.
On the day that my mom told me the news I felt really strong. How sad it is that that was for such a short period it was good. If it happend a month earlier it might have broken me down. How hard it is I am been able to get carry it. I am currently strong enough to say: no matter how emotional I feel I will continue and finish my au-pair adventure.
Yesterday I skyped my Oma. It was extremely painful. That Skype call was going to show me my Oma alive for the last time. After I hung up I felt worst. All my strength was gone. It was horrible to think that I was never going to see her anymore. It was a complete nightmare. Not much later my mom gave me a message saying that I had to come. I was already planning to go. I was planning of coming for the funeral to be there for my family. Yesterday was a game changer. I Skyped my dad and we called my insurance. They were going to book a flight for me.
The roller coaster just started. I am flying home today. I am going to say goodbye to my Oma. I am going to be there for my family. It is a huge relieve to know that I am actually going. Not a clue what it is going to do with me. At least it is going to help my mom. Right now that is the most important thing in my live. I will be with her for a couple of days. I love her so much and it is inhumane to see someone in so much pain from such a huge distance.
This is quite a personal thing to share. This blog is for me. For me in a couple of weeks, months, years. Knowing that I did everything I could. Knowing that family comes first no matter what. No matter how long I have to travel. No matter if that means a emotional breakdown. I know that I am strong and I am going to be strong.
I didn't check my spelling or grammer because I don't want to read this blog back right now. I will be home for a couple of days. So I am coming back to the USA. Because that is what I want, but more important, that is was Oma wants. Oma I love you, see you soon.
That was two weeks ago and however I had the hope that it was all going to get better it wasn't. Me and my host family are near Boston right now. We drove in two days. I had a whole backup system. I only have internet with WiFi. As soon as we stared driving my mom was not been able to reach me. On the days that I we were driving my Oma was doing oke. If something would happen my mom had to w'app Veryan and she could text me. I would have tried to find the nearest WiFi spot and could get my mom on Skype. I am grateful that that was not needed.
On the day that my mom told me the news I felt really strong. How sad it is that that was for such a short period it was good. If it happend a month earlier it might have broken me down. How hard it is I am been able to get carry it. I am currently strong enough to say: no matter how emotional I feel I will continue and finish my au-pair adventure.
Yesterday I skyped my Oma. It was extremely painful. That Skype call was going to show me my Oma alive for the last time. After I hung up I felt worst. All my strength was gone. It was horrible to think that I was never going to see her anymore. It was a complete nightmare. Not much later my mom gave me a message saying that I had to come. I was already planning to go. I was planning of coming for the funeral to be there for my family. Yesterday was a game changer. I Skyped my dad and we called my insurance. They were going to book a flight for me.
The roller coaster just started. I am flying home today. I am going to say goodbye to my Oma. I am going to be there for my family. It is a huge relieve to know that I am actually going. Not a clue what it is going to do with me. At least it is going to help my mom. Right now that is the most important thing in my live. I will be with her for a couple of days. I love her so much and it is inhumane to see someone in so much pain from such a huge distance.
This is quite a personal thing to share. This blog is for me. For me in a couple of weeks, months, years. Knowing that I did everything I could. Knowing that family comes first no matter what. No matter how long I have to travel. No matter if that means a emotional breakdown. I know that I am strong and I am going to be strong.
I didn't check my spelling or grammer because I don't want to read this blog back right now. I will be home for a couple of days. So I am coming back to the USA. Because that is what I want, but more important, that is was Oma wants. Oma I love you, see you soon.
Monday, 16 June 2014
Reunited
You can guess it. That was amazing. I did wait a week to write about it, to let it all sink in. Terrified to get homesick or feeling left behind. Turns out the opposite happend. I started to feel better and better. After North Carolina I felt great, but I knew that New York was coming up. There was still a cool trip to look forward to. So when I came back from New York I was petrified to get really sad. Don't ask me how, but I didn't. For the first time I was wrong about predicting my feelings. Honestly, I feel better than ever.
There I go, again in that terrible bus, but I am going to skip that part because it was just horrible. I want to let you all know how good of a time I had. So why waist more time and space about being very, very, very uncomfortable. NEW YOOORRKK! The humanity hit me hard. It had been raining all night and if there is one place were it gets humid. Than it must be a city like New York. I was back. It felt really strange. Realizing that New York is just a city and knowing that there is so much more to see in this huge country. Although I was really happy to be back knowing that my dad and sister were just a few miles away. My bags were, next level, heavy. I could absolutely not wait to enter the apartment. LOCKED and there was no key. We rented a room through airbnb, it was good, small, but good. The cleaner that had to put the envelope with the key on the door left the key inside. So there was no way for me to get in. My phone was about to die and I couldn't text or call my dad or sister. Because my contract doesn't allow me to text international numbers .Then there is only one thing to do; relax and find the rooftop. That one hit me, the rooftop. Seeing the view was indescribable it was ready to get me calm. I was back in that city I had to leave. Then time past really quickly and after a wonder around I came back to the locked door and guess who were there. All of a sudden my dad and sister stood in front of me. Then there is only one way how I would greet them. "Oh wait I have to charge my phone" seriously. I hadn't seen them for half a year and as soon as they were there I could only think about my phone dying. Congrats Nienke, you are officially the worst person ever. Though I did not got the chance to get it charged. My dad hugged me till there was no air to breath and my sister got me there too.
I can make the stories up right now. How I started crying and how I missed them so much. Well I did miss them big time, but as soon as they were there it felt like I never left their side. I didn't felt like crying. I felt so happy, I could only smile. My smile was not erasable in the near future. After we got freshened up, we decided to go to the park across the street and we talked about everything. I did not had to get them up-to-date. I talked to them on Skype a day before and w'app is keeping them pretty much up-to-date every second. I just wanted to show them the city. I was curious how they though I had changed. I was ready to have them close, really close.
In those days we have seen pretty much every high light of the city. We've done things that I hadn't done yet and we crossed a few things off my bucket list. Le Miserable on Broadway. I wanted to see a show there really badly and as I thought I had a year to do that. But since I left after 3 months this was the time to do it. My dad apparently had seen almost every single musical so after some discusion I got them on my side and we bought tickets to see Le Miserable. It was a early birthday present for my dad, who's birthday is June 30th and it sort of was a father's day present. As he told us that is was fathers day that day. But my dad had something for us too. He booked us a helicopter flight. I had never even been even close to one so that was honestly the best thing ever. The weather wasn't really helping so it got delayed to the next day but I still can't believe it. He is the best dad. It was foggy but I didn't mind. It was such an experience. I got to sit next to the pilot all by myself. The pilot was a woman, like yes, that is how I like it! She inspired me, I think a want to be an helicopter pilot too now. Especially above New York, I think, not sure. Haha I wish, I wish.
We did so much more, went to the 9/11 memorial, Wall street, Staten Island Ferry, Brooklyn Bright and Brooklyn promenade. Visited the New York Public library and walked down on Fifth Avenue. Stood on top of the rock and climbed the red stairs on Times Square. Watched Baseball in Central park, saw a broadway show and had dinner with Svenja and Kristina. Wondered around in the National History and Nature Museum and been attacked by squirrels and birds. Got to sit in the front seat of a helicopter and we pretended to be a NYU student.
It was so good to get my battery charged. My family means everything to me. I miss them so much. But now I am going to tell you something, maybe, unexpected. I feel stronger. I hope not to give my mom a heart attack, but I might consider staying longer. After half a year nothing has changed between me and my family. We all changed a bit but those changes had been captured by Skype already. Hopefully my sister and brother get there degrees and I do feel bad not being there. I simple know that I do not have to be there physically. I hope they know that I think about them a lot, say all the time. The friends I have back home are basically the best people on this planet. I don't text everyone all the time, but as soon as I do it is all fine.
Being away from home can be really hard. But had made me feel so much better about everything. I feel more confident and I dare to stand up for myself more. Since I'm back from New York I feel bad bringing the girls to school. I want to spent more time with them. Although I might think that now,I know when they will be home all the time next week I probably disagree with this. So for everyone who wants to be an au-pair and is afraid to leave home behind, JUST DO IT. Your family and friends will wait. And how hard this may sound, they can do it without you. Give them a sign of love now and than. Let them know you care about them and they will give that back to you. A year is long, but now that I passed my 6 months I start to seriously consider to stay longer. Times goes really quick and before you know you will be back home. AND I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT YET!
There I go, again in that terrible bus, but I am going to skip that part because it was just horrible. I want to let you all know how good of a time I had. So why waist more time and space about being very, very, very uncomfortable. NEW YOOORRKK! The humanity hit me hard. It had been raining all night and if there is one place were it gets humid. Than it must be a city like New York. I was back. It felt really strange. Realizing that New York is just a city and knowing that there is so much more to see in this huge country. Although I was really happy to be back knowing that my dad and sister were just a few miles away. My bags were, next level, heavy. I could absolutely not wait to enter the apartment. LOCKED and there was no key. We rented a room through airbnb, it was good, small, but good. The cleaner that had to put the envelope with the key on the door left the key inside. So there was no way for me to get in. My phone was about to die and I couldn't text or call my dad or sister. Because my contract doesn't allow me to text international numbers .Then there is only one thing to do; relax and find the rooftop. That one hit me, the rooftop. Seeing the view was indescribable it was ready to get me calm. I was back in that city I had to leave. Then time past really quickly and after a wonder around I came back to the locked door and guess who were there. All of a sudden my dad and sister stood in front of me. Then there is only one way how I would greet them. "Oh wait I have to charge my phone" seriously. I hadn't seen them for half a year and as soon as they were there I could only think about my phone dying. Congrats Nienke, you are officially the worst person ever. Though I did not got the chance to get it charged. My dad hugged me till there was no air to breath and my sister got me there too.
I can make the stories up right now. How I started crying and how I missed them so much. Well I did miss them big time, but as soon as they were there it felt like I never left their side. I didn't felt like crying. I felt so happy, I could only smile. My smile was not erasable in the near future. After we got freshened up, we decided to go to the park across the street and we talked about everything. I did not had to get them up-to-date. I talked to them on Skype a day before and w'app is keeping them pretty much up-to-date every second. I just wanted to show them the city. I was curious how they though I had changed. I was ready to have them close, really close.
In those days we have seen pretty much every high light of the city. We've done things that I hadn't done yet and we crossed a few things off my bucket list. Le Miserable on Broadway. I wanted to see a show there really badly and as I thought I had a year to do that. But since I left after 3 months this was the time to do it. My dad apparently had seen almost every single musical so after some discusion I got them on my side and we bought tickets to see Le Miserable. It was a early birthday present for my dad, who's birthday is June 30th and it sort of was a father's day present. As he told us that is was fathers day that day. But my dad had something for us too. He booked us a helicopter flight. I had never even been even close to one so that was honestly the best thing ever. The weather wasn't really helping so it got delayed to the next day but I still can't believe it. He is the best dad. It was foggy but I didn't mind. It was such an experience. I got to sit next to the pilot all by myself. The pilot was a woman, like yes, that is how I like it! She inspired me, I think a want to be an helicopter pilot too now. Especially above New York, I think, not sure. Haha I wish, I wish.
We did so much more, went to the 9/11 memorial, Wall street, Staten Island Ferry, Brooklyn Bright and Brooklyn promenade. Visited the New York Public library and walked down on Fifth Avenue. Stood on top of the rock and climbed the red stairs on Times Square. Watched Baseball in Central park, saw a broadway show and had dinner with Svenja and Kristina. Wondered around in the National History and Nature Museum and been attacked by squirrels and birds. Got to sit in the front seat of a helicopter and we pretended to be a NYU student.
It was so good to get my battery charged. My family means everything to me. I miss them so much. But now I am going to tell you something, maybe, unexpected. I feel stronger. I hope not to give my mom a heart attack, but I might consider staying longer. After half a year nothing has changed between me and my family. We all changed a bit but those changes had been captured by Skype already. Hopefully my sister and brother get there degrees and I do feel bad not being there. I simple know that I do not have to be there physically. I hope they know that I think about them a lot, say all the time. The friends I have back home are basically the best people on this planet. I don't text everyone all the time, but as soon as I do it is all fine.
Being away from home can be really hard. But had made me feel so much better about everything. I feel more confident and I dare to stand up for myself more. Since I'm back from New York I feel bad bringing the girls to school. I want to spent more time with them. Although I might think that now,I know when they will be home all the time next week I probably disagree with this. So for everyone who wants to be an au-pair and is afraid to leave home behind, JUST DO IT. Your family and friends will wait. And how hard this may sound, they can do it without you. Give them a sign of love now and than. Let them know you care about them and they will give that back to you. A year is long, but now that I passed my 6 months I start to seriously consider to stay longer. Times goes really quick and before you know you will be back home. AND I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT YET!
Thursday, 29 May 2014
North Carolina
Even though a friend told me to make a lot of pictures, I didn’t. I took it all in as a memory. I felt annoyed by taking the camera out to take a picture. That means a lot. It means that I didn’t really felt like sharing my weekend. I felt like living my weekend. The weekend I’ve been looking forward to for so long. It was unbelievable. Still can’t believe that it all happend. Now that I am back home I can take a moment to share my weekend. To tell you how Memorial Weekend 2014 turned out to be the most amazing weekend ever.
After weeks of knowing to go, it was finally here. The bus trip was beautiful but really uncomfortable. For some reason I just couldn't sit stil. Might have been my excitement. Then almost 5 hours is really long. Arriving in North Carolina was so good. Veryan and Will picked me up at the busstop. The weekend could start!
Basically we did a whole lot of nothing. Hanging out at the different pools. Laughing a lot. Meeting new people. Spending more times at pools. Making a bonfire at a lake during sunset. Went on a boat. Talking a lot and laughing a bit more. I needed that more than ever. Since I came I have spent everyday at the house, two different places, but still I was at home. For the first time I packed my backs and I could finally just relax.
I might not have the hardes job in the world. Not at all, I love it. But I needed some time for myself. I don't know how a teen mom does it. I really enjoy the time not being responsible for others. If I am at or around the house I will always make sure that the kids are fine, even when I am not working. So being in North Carolina was a moment to take a breath and not to care.
It was hot, upper 80F. I am not used to that weather. Summers in Holland are first of all; not that hot, second; only one week a year and third; it is only may so it is still spring. So we spent all of our time beging at places to cool down. The pool on Saturday was just mind blowing. It was at a student complex or whoever they call it here. There was a DJ and a lot of American cliches. I was pretty tired and the sun was burning all of my energy but I couldn't fall asleep with that around me. For them it was so normal, for me it was something I didn't even knew was true. It made me giggle, but from the outside I kept cool. haha.
Oh yes, Veryan you did it. You created a team around you and you made my weekend unforgettable. Right now, a few days later I kind of feel homesick towards North Carolina. I want to and will come back as soon as I can. Last blog I wrote down that I had high expectations. Not knowing that they were been able to make it even better than I expected.
I told Veryan, as a joke, that I wanted to have a bonfire at a lake. Check. They made it happen. We sat down at the Falls Lake and burnt a fire. The fact that we started the fire during sunset was just out of this world. I might have cried from the inside. Enjoying every second I was sitting there. It was gorges, more that I could have asked for. To end the night we watch a movie in a homecinema. I laughed so hard because that was further than my expectations could reach. I wasn't been able to even think about it all before.
Everything I write here is so American in my eyes. I might be insulting the entire country. Or they might all laugh at me, but I am still a very Dutch girl. Very Dutch and I am only used to small, smaller and the smallest. So I think it is really awesome and I think am kind of a loser, yes. haha
The last day, I was so sad about leaving. We went to the pool and after that we got on a boat on Falls Lake. My bus was leaving at 6 so we sort of had time. But it was flying. Before we knew we had to get off the boat to drive towards the bus.
It was so sad to leave but I have never left with a bigger smile. Veryan and Will we're funnier than ever. Pretending to be my parents. I got the weirdest looks. But seriously if the people around us were thinking they were my parents than that isn't our fault. I almost pied my pants of laughing so they must have known.
I loved my weekend. I was beyond my expectations. Far, far beyond. Thanks to everyone. Before I came I had only met Veryan. I had not felt that comfortable with people that quick in a long time. Oke, I can write a million times how grateful I am but I am guessing they know it because I have said it already a kazillion times. So I think I just end this blog with saying that I can't wait to go back !
Basically we did a whole lot of nothing. Hanging out at the different pools. Laughing a lot. Meeting new people. Spending more times at pools. Making a bonfire at a lake during sunset. Went on a boat. Talking a lot and laughing a bit more. I needed that more than ever. Since I came I have spent everyday at the house, two different places, but still I was at home. For the first time I packed my backs and I could finally just relax.
I might not have the hardes job in the world. Not at all, I love it. But I needed some time for myself. I don't know how a teen mom does it. I really enjoy the time not being responsible for others. If I am at or around the house I will always make sure that the kids are fine, even when I am not working. So being in North Carolina was a moment to take a breath and not to care.
It was hot, upper 80F. I am not used to that weather. Summers in Holland are first of all; not that hot, second; only one week a year and third; it is only may so it is still spring. So we spent all of our time beging at places to cool down. The pool on Saturday was just mind blowing. It was at a student complex or whoever they call it here. There was a DJ and a lot of American cliches. I was pretty tired and the sun was burning all of my energy but I couldn't fall asleep with that around me. For them it was so normal, for me it was something I didn't even knew was true. It made me giggle, but from the outside I kept cool. haha.
Oh yes, Veryan you did it. You created a team around you and you made my weekend unforgettable. Right now, a few days later I kind of feel homesick towards North Carolina. I want to and will come back as soon as I can. Last blog I wrote down that I had high expectations. Not knowing that they were been able to make it even better than I expected.
I told Veryan, as a joke, that I wanted to have a bonfire at a lake. Check. They made it happen. We sat down at the Falls Lake and burnt a fire. The fact that we started the fire during sunset was just out of this world. I might have cried from the inside. Enjoying every second I was sitting there. It was gorges, more that I could have asked for. To end the night we watch a movie in a homecinema. I laughed so hard because that was further than my expectations could reach. I wasn't been able to even think about it all before.
Everything I write here is so American in my eyes. I might be insulting the entire country. Or they might all laugh at me, but I am still a very Dutch girl. Very Dutch and I am only used to small, smaller and the smallest. So I think it is really awesome and I think am kind of a loser, yes. haha
The last day, I was so sad about leaving. We went to the pool and after that we got on a boat on Falls Lake. My bus was leaving at 6 so we sort of had time. But it was flying. Before we knew we had to get off the boat to drive towards the bus.
It was so sad to leave but I have never left with a bigger smile. Veryan and Will we're funnier than ever. Pretending to be my parents. I got the weirdest looks. But seriously if the people around us were thinking they were my parents than that isn't our fault. I almost pied my pants of laughing so they must have known.
I loved my weekend. I was beyond my expectations. Far, far beyond. Thanks to everyone. Before I came I had only met Veryan. I had not felt that comfortable with people that quick in a long time. Oke, I can write a million times how grateful I am but I am guessing they know it because I have said it already a kazillion times. So I think I just end this blog with saying that I can't wait to go back !
Wednesday, 21 May 2014
New Adventures
My excitement is all over the place, like all over the place. The next few weekends I finally get to spent time with people I miss a lot. I finally booked myself some trips. Or I already did this a while ago, but now they are soon to arrive.
This weekend, memorial weekend, I'll go south. Only one state though, North Carolina. On Saturday morning I'll take the bus at 7am to visit Vezzo, Veryan. I miss that munchkin so much. Veryan was in New York together with me. She was there during my introduction days in Midtown Manhattan. It is a weird thing that we actually only have spent 3 days together. It feels like I know her so much longer. well I do know her half a year now, but in person, face to face, we only just met. I just can't wait to get up, way to early, so that I can see her. Those days that we were in New York were amazing and it feels like I am going to have that same feelings all over again. Can't stop smiling when I think about it. this will be my first trip. Why I waited that long? I don't know. It might make this trip even more special.
Veryan made plans for the weekend. From what she told me, it is going to be exactly as I imagine a summer weekend in North Carolina. I think my expectations are pretty high. I should't do that because I am scared it might not come true. Honestly tough, even if it is going to rain the whole weekend and we spent all our time inside, it will be a weekend that I'll never forget. -side note, just checked the weather forecast, it's going to be warm and sunny-
I'll have a full weekend and memorial day off. That will be my first long weekend off. since I arrived in December I have been working all the time. I had a weekend off every month but I didn't do anything special with that time. Now I am finally going to do something with my time. My first break out of the house.
And than it is going to be June soon. When I come back there will only be a few days left before my dad and sister arrive in New York. The time has past by so quickly but I'm so happy that this weekend is about to arrive. I knew since January that they were coming. Now it is almost here. I will again take the bus, but this time I'll go North. NEW YORK. I miss that city so much and when I left it was winter. So it will be a completely different feeling now that it is summer!
We made some plans, My dad, sister and I but what we didn't really schedule things yet. They have places they want to see and so have I. For me, personally, I am just really happy that they are going to bring me 'stroopwaffels, ontbijtkoek en hagelslag' that is the only thing I care about. haha NOOO. I am going to save my tears. I can cry out off happiness only by the though of hugging them. They are almost here, almost. I am counting down, can not wait.
I have been wondering around my town and I am ready to explore more. Excitement all over the place for sure. Seeing people I miss and combining that with some free time and awesome places. Places I have never been before, places I really want to see again. I will not stop smiling, maybe I will never stop smiling. Maybe that is a awesome idea, not even maybe, it just is.
This weekend, memorial weekend, I'll go south. Only one state though, North Carolina. On Saturday morning I'll take the bus at 7am to visit Vezzo, Veryan. I miss that munchkin so much. Veryan was in New York together with me. She was there during my introduction days in Midtown Manhattan. It is a weird thing that we actually only have spent 3 days together. It feels like I know her so much longer. well I do know her half a year now, but in person, face to face, we only just met. I just can't wait to get up, way to early, so that I can see her. Those days that we were in New York were amazing and it feels like I am going to have that same feelings all over again. Can't stop smiling when I think about it. this will be my first trip. Why I waited that long? I don't know. It might make this trip even more special.
Veryan made plans for the weekend. From what she told me, it is going to be exactly as I imagine a summer weekend in North Carolina. I think my expectations are pretty high. I should't do that because I am scared it might not come true. Honestly tough, even if it is going to rain the whole weekend and we spent all our time inside, it will be a weekend that I'll never forget. -side note, just checked the weather forecast, it's going to be warm and sunny-
I'll have a full weekend and memorial day off. That will be my first long weekend off. since I arrived in December I have been working all the time. I had a weekend off every month but I didn't do anything special with that time. Now I am finally going to do something with my time. My first break out of the house.
And than it is going to be June soon. When I come back there will only be a few days left before my dad and sister arrive in New York. The time has past by so quickly but I'm so happy that this weekend is about to arrive. I knew since January that they were coming. Now it is almost here. I will again take the bus, but this time I'll go North. NEW YORK. I miss that city so much and when I left it was winter. So it will be a completely different feeling now that it is summer!
We made some plans, My dad, sister and I but what we didn't really schedule things yet. They have places they want to see and so have I. For me, personally, I am just really happy that they are going to bring me 'stroopwaffels, ontbijtkoek en hagelslag' that is the only thing I care about. haha NOOO. I am going to save my tears. I can cry out off happiness only by the though of hugging them. They are almost here, almost. I am counting down, can not wait.
I have been wondering around my town and I am ready to explore more. Excitement all over the place for sure. Seeing people I miss and combining that with some free time and awesome places. Places I have never been before, places I really want to see again. I will not stop smiling, maybe I will never stop smiling. Maybe that is a awesome idea, not even maybe, it just is.
Saturday, 10 May 2014
Four Counties United
This blog I promise you to not go to deep. I think it is time for a flat and a back to basic blog. One were I tell you what I am actually doing here. Not one were I tell you what happens in my head, because I shouldn't think that you are all bordered by that. So I am going to tell you what I did.
First of all, Lets just say that the weather is amazing. Except from some rain it is basically summer here. This week it is going to be 85F everyday, haha. Now I have to be honest, I had to look that up for you. I knew it was going to be 30C. I don't get the Fahrenheit at all. I Love the summer weather, right now I love it. Pretty soon I probably wouldn't anymore. Never been a summer person, never really liked really hot weather. I know that is going to be a real summer. Not a summer like in Holland were we are literally talking about a heath wave if we are having 25C for 5 days or more. Seeing the weather forecast I know that the first 'heatwave' is going to hit Virginia this week.
Than this, I am in a generation were we all are on the internet, basically everyday. So there are a lot of things to say about that. Most of those things I agree with. Because I also think that we get sucked up and waist or time a lot on here. But there are some really amazing sides of it as well. Two years ago I went to Estonia for a exchange project for school. And I am pretty sure I already wrote that somewhere here. So am I sure that I wrote that that was such an amazing experience. Well I went there with a bunch school friends, because it was a project organized by my school, but there were also Italians. And right now I doubt more than ever if there were other countries involved. Pretty sure there weren't. In that week we all connected and got along really well. Everyone is so openminded and very adventures.
So at the end of the week we all left back to our own county and the people from Estonia of course just stayed. I don't know how many year back I have to go to say that you will probably lose the connection because writing mails or letters is just not working well. Maybe with the boy or girl that hosted you and maybe one more with who you connected with really well, but that that would be it. Right now in this generation we add each other on Facebook. It doesn't say that you write one and other, but you are been able to know what everyone is up to. So I knew that there was one Italian friend that moved to Missouri. That is somewhere in the middle of the US. So she posted on Facebook that she was in DC and was loving it. I jumped on that opportunity and asked her for how long she will be here. Her answer was , Wednesday. So asking her on a Sunday night we decided to meet on Monday for lunch. You can say what you want about the internet generation as much as I will agree, I will disagree with you too. This would have never happened if there was no Facebook.
Camillia is a exchange student and she is doing High School. I felt pretty jealous, how cool it sounds and seeing her pictures it must be pretty awesome. At the same time she told me she would have loved to live near a big city. I have to say that I hit the jackpot with that. I am not happy with the fact I had to change families but I can tell everyone for the rest of my life that I have lived near the biggest city and the capitol of the USA. I am proud of that and I love it. We had lunch and a wonder around. Talked about how cool it is to meet. We united four countries. Me as representing Holland and she is did that for Italy. That is two, I know. But we met each other in Estonia and we were both currently living in the USA. That is four. My math skills are brilliant.
So I am going to enjoy my day with my shorts and sunglasses on. Now the weather in Holland is really rainy and bad I like to tell you all that. I think we had one or two weeks of spring weather. Now it is bloody hot and I need to enjoy it before I start complaining about bugs, sweaty hands, keeping the window open at night and waking up at 4am because the new neighbors have chicken and more. haha.
I love you all, bye bye and smile. That is how I used to end my blogs. Apparently I am not really consistent with that!
First of all, Lets just say that the weather is amazing. Except from some rain it is basically summer here. This week it is going to be 85F everyday, haha. Now I have to be honest, I had to look that up for you. I knew it was going to be 30C. I don't get the Fahrenheit at all. I Love the summer weather, right now I love it. Pretty soon I probably wouldn't anymore. Never been a summer person, never really liked really hot weather. I know that is going to be a real summer. Not a summer like in Holland were we are literally talking about a heath wave if we are having 25C for 5 days or more. Seeing the weather forecast I know that the first 'heatwave' is going to hit Virginia this week.
Than this, I am in a generation were we all are on the internet, basically everyday. So there are a lot of things to say about that. Most of those things I agree with. Because I also think that we get sucked up and waist or time a lot on here. But there are some really amazing sides of it as well. Two years ago I went to Estonia for a exchange project for school. And I am pretty sure I already wrote that somewhere here. So am I sure that I wrote that that was such an amazing experience. Well I went there with a bunch school friends, because it was a project organized by my school, but there were also Italians. And right now I doubt more than ever if there were other countries involved. Pretty sure there weren't. In that week we all connected and got along really well. Everyone is so openminded and very adventures.
So at the end of the week we all left back to our own county and the people from Estonia of course just stayed. I don't know how many year back I have to go to say that you will probably lose the connection because writing mails or letters is just not working well. Maybe with the boy or girl that hosted you and maybe one more with who you connected with really well, but that that would be it. Right now in this generation we add each other on Facebook. It doesn't say that you write one and other, but you are been able to know what everyone is up to. So I knew that there was one Italian friend that moved to Missouri. That is somewhere in the middle of the US. So she posted on Facebook that she was in DC and was loving it. I jumped on that opportunity and asked her for how long she will be here. Her answer was , Wednesday. So asking her on a Sunday night we decided to meet on Monday for lunch. You can say what you want about the internet generation as much as I will agree, I will disagree with you too. This would have never happened if there was no Facebook.
Camillia is a exchange student and she is doing High School. I felt pretty jealous, how cool it sounds and seeing her pictures it must be pretty awesome. At the same time she told me she would have loved to live near a big city. I have to say that I hit the jackpot with that. I am not happy with the fact I had to change families but I can tell everyone for the rest of my life that I have lived near the biggest city and the capitol of the USA. I am proud of that and I love it. We had lunch and a wonder around. Talked about how cool it is to meet. We united four countries. Me as representing Holland and she is did that for Italy. That is two, I know. But we met each other in Estonia and we were both currently living in the USA. That is four. My math skills are brilliant.
So I am going to enjoy my day with my shorts and sunglasses on. Now the weather in Holland is really rainy and bad I like to tell you all that. I think we had one or two weeks of spring weather. Now it is bloody hot and I need to enjoy it before I start complaining about bugs, sweaty hands, keeping the window open at night and waking up at 4am because the new neighbors have chicken and more. haha.
I love you all, bye bye and smile. That is how I used to end my blogs. Apparently I am not really consistent with that!
Sunday, 4 May 2014
Time
It is so obvious. The time is passing by. That a moment that you life right now will soon starts to be a memory. sometimes to remember, sometimes to just have lived. A lifetime isn't as long as I think it is. Right now I am twenty years old. What basically means that I have spent twenty year doing what I did. It feels like I havent achieved a lot. I graduated. So that didn't happen without working for it. I life in the USA, were I also had to work my butt off for. I am the au-pair I wanted to be for over 3 years. And struggles have been fought and won. I am only twenty years old so who am I to say that I feel like I haven't achieved a lot. It's seems obvious. Well if the first twenty years I lived weren't the year for me to achieve a lot, will that mean that the next twenty will. If I blink with my eyes, will I be there ?
It's deep. But I start thinking about it. This is my sixth month here and I only have twelve months. Time is passing by so scarily fast. May 2007 I lost my granddad. The only one I had. It feels like was last week talking to him, hugging him, losing him. I honestly can't believe that it is seven years ago. I give my stuffed elephant a kiss every night before I fall asleep. The stuffed animal he gave me a month before he passed away. How many kisses that animal has got. How much strength he gives me. It is seven years ago and every time I see the pandora charm on my bracelet I miss him. He was 80 years old when I was born and I am so happy that I got to meet him, that I remember him. That he was strong and old enough to make my mum's greatest fear not to come true. Because I can remember him. I always will. It is seven years ago. Opa would have been 100 this year in June. He isn't here anymore but I will celebrate his birthday with joy. I'll raise my glass and hope to get as old and healthy as he was.
Can we all agree on the fact that time goes by way to quick. Even when I think that time goes way to slow, it goes fast. Because thinking back at my time at school I wish I was still there. To just be the simple human being I am. I don't say that my life is complicated but I wish I could still get away with "I don't know what I want to study". I wish that times were I have to pay rent or bills weren't coming closer every day. But it is. And I need to get my head around a study I really like.
Next month my dad and sister are coming to New York City and I can't wait to go back and see them. But before that day is here. I'll enjoy today. Because I can't believe that I am were I wanted to be for over 3 years. That I achieved a main goal in life I had made. How tired or sad I can feel. It can't beat the feeling of excitement. It can't beat the fact that I life the live I really wanted to life. I am honestly happy the time has passed till today. That I made it to this place. And the that the tear that has dropped can dissolve in a huge smile.
It's deep. But I start thinking about it. This is my sixth month here and I only have twelve months. Time is passing by so scarily fast. May 2007 I lost my granddad. The only one I had. It feels like was last week talking to him, hugging him, losing him. I honestly can't believe that it is seven years ago. I give my stuffed elephant a kiss every night before I fall asleep. The stuffed animal he gave me a month before he passed away. How many kisses that animal has got. How much strength he gives me. It is seven years ago and every time I see the pandora charm on my bracelet I miss him. He was 80 years old when I was born and I am so happy that I got to meet him, that I remember him. That he was strong and old enough to make my mum's greatest fear not to come true. Because I can remember him. I always will. It is seven years ago. Opa would have been 100 this year in June. He isn't here anymore but I will celebrate his birthday with joy. I'll raise my glass and hope to get as old and healthy as he was. Can we all agree on the fact that time goes by way to quick. Even when I think that time goes way to slow, it goes fast. Because thinking back at my time at school I wish I was still there. To just be the simple human being I am. I don't say that my life is complicated but I wish I could still get away with "I don't know what I want to study". I wish that times were I have to pay rent or bills weren't coming closer every day. But it is. And I need to get my head around a study I really like.
Next month my dad and sister are coming to New York City and I can't wait to go back and see them. But before that day is here. I'll enjoy today. Because I can't believe that I am were I wanted to be for over 3 years. That I achieved a main goal in life I had made. How tired or sad I can feel. It can't beat the feeling of excitement. It can't beat the fact that I life the live I really wanted to life. I am honestly happy the time has passed till today. That I made it to this place. And the that the tear that has dropped can dissolve in a huge smile.
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