Just a quick update about the situation I turned out to be in. I just packed my bags and in a few hours I will be on a plane. Less than two weeks ago I got a text from my mom. Telling that it was important and that we needed to Skype. Before I knew it we were crying. She told me the sad news about my grandma, my Oma. She was in the hospital and I had to know that it was not going well at all. It was hard for her to tell me that. How do you tell you daughter that her Oma is passing away while she is miles and miles away. There was one thing that seems to be even worst. That I was not there. That I was not been able to say goodbye. It broke her.
That was two weeks ago and however I had the hope that it was all going to get better it wasn't. Me and my host family are near Boston right now. We drove in two days. I had a whole backup system. I only have internet with WiFi. As soon as we stared driving my mom was not been able to reach me. On the days that I we were driving my Oma was doing oke. If something would happen my mom had to w'app Veryan and she could text me. I would have tried to find the nearest WiFi spot and could get my mom on Skype. I am grateful that that was not needed.
On the day that my mom told me the news I felt really strong. How sad it is that that was for such a short period it was good. If it happend a month earlier it might have broken me down. How hard it is I am been able to get carry it. I am currently strong enough to say: no matter how emotional I feel I will continue and finish my au-pair adventure.
Yesterday I skyped my Oma. It was extremely painful. That Skype call was going to show me my Oma alive for the last time. After I hung up I felt worst. All my strength was gone. It was horrible to think that I was never going to see her anymore. It was a complete nightmare. Not much later my mom gave me a message saying that I had to come. I was already planning to go. I was planning of coming for the funeral to be there for my family. Yesterday was a game changer. I Skyped my dad and we called my insurance. They were going to book a flight for me.
The roller coaster just started. I am flying home today. I am going to say goodbye to my Oma. I am going to be there for my family. It is a huge relieve to know that I am actually going. Not a clue what it is going to do with me. At least it is going to help my mom. Right now that is the most important thing in my live. I will be with her for a couple of days. I love her so much and it is inhumane to see someone in so much pain from such a huge distance.
This is quite a personal thing to share. This blog is for me. For me in a couple of weeks, months, years. Knowing that I did everything I could. Knowing that family comes first no matter what. No matter how long I have to travel. No matter if that means a emotional breakdown. I know that I am strong and I am going to be strong.
I didn't check my spelling or grammer because I don't want to read this blog back right now. I will be home for a couple of days. So I am coming back to the USA. Because that is what I want, but more important, that is was Oma wants. Oma I love you, see you soon.
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