North Carolina

Even though a friend told me to make a lot of pictures, I didn’t. I took it all in as a memory. I felt annoyed by taking the camera out to take a picture. That means a lot. It means that I didn’t really felt like sharing my weekend. I felt like living my weekend. The weekend I’ve been looking forward to for so long. It was unbelievable. Still can’t believe that it all happend. Now that I am back home I can take a moment to share my weekend. To tell you how Memorial Weekend 2014 turned out to be the most amazing weekend ever. 

After weeks of knowing to go, it was finally here. The bus trip was beautiful but really uncomfortable. For some reason I just couldn't sit stil. Might have been my excitement. Then almost 5 hours is really long. Arriving in North Carolina was so good. Veryan and Will picked me up at the busstop. The weekend could start!

Basically we did a whole lot of nothing. Hanging out at the different pools. Laughing a lot. Meeting new people. Spending more times at pools. Making a bonfire at a lake during sunset. Went on a boat. Talking a lot and laughing a bit more. I needed that more than ever. Since I came I have spent everyday at the house, two different places, but still I was at home. For the first time I packed my backs and I could finally just relax. 

I might not have the hardes job in the world. Not at all, I love it. But I needed some time for myself. I don't know how a teen mom does it. I really enjoy the time not being responsible for others. If I am at or around the house I will always make sure that the kids are fine, even when I am not working. So being in North Carolina was a moment to take a breath and not to care. 

It was hot, upper 80F. I am not used to that weather. Summers in Holland are first of all; not that hot, second; only one week a year and third; it is only may so it is still spring. So we spent all of our time beging at places to cool down. The pool on Saturday was just mind blowing. It was at a student complex or whoever they call it here. There was a DJ and a lot of American cliches. I was pretty tired and the sun was burning all of my energy but I couldn't fall asleep with that around me. For them it was so normal, for me it was something I didn't even knew was true. It made me giggle, but from the outside I kept cool. haha. 

Oh yes, Veryan you did it. You created a team around you and you made my weekend unforgettable. Right now, a few days later I kind of feel homesick towards North Carolina. I want to and will come back as soon as I can. Last blog I wrote down that I had high expectations. Not knowing that they were been able to make it even better than I expected. 

I told Veryan, as a joke, that I wanted to have a bonfire at a lake. Check. They made it happen. We sat down at the Falls Lake and burnt a fire. The fact that we started the fire during sunset was just out of this world. I might have cried from the inside. Enjoying every second I was sitting there. It was gorges, more that I could have asked for. To end the night we watch a movie in a homecinema. I laughed so hard because that was further than my expectations could reach. I wasn't been able to even think about it all before. 

Everything I write here is so American in my eyes. I might be insulting the entire country. Or they might all laugh at me, but I am still a very Dutch girl. Very Dutch and I am only used to small, smaller and the smallest. So I think it is really awesome and I think am kind of a loser, yes. haha

The last day, I was so sad about leaving. We went to the pool and after that we got on a boat on Falls Lake. My bus was leaving at 6 so we sort of had time. But it was flying. Before we knew we had to get off the boat to drive towards the bus. 

It was so sad to leave but I have never left with a bigger smile. Veryan and Will we're funnier than ever. Pretending to be my parents. I got the weirdest looks. But seriously if the people around us were thinking they were my parents than that isn't our fault. I almost pied my pants of laughing so they must have known. 

I loved my weekend. I was beyond my expectations. Far, far beyond. Thanks to everyone. Before I came I had only met Veryan. I had not felt that comfortable with people that quick in a long time. Oke, I can write a million times how grateful I am but I am guessing they know it because I have said it already a kazillion times. So I think I just end this blog with saying that I can't wait to go back ! 

New Adventures

My excitement is all over the place, like all over the place. The next few weekends I finally get to spent time with people I miss a lot. I finally booked myself some trips. Or I already did this a while ago, but now they are soon to arrive. 

This weekend, memorial weekend, I'll go south. Only one state though, North Carolina. On Saturday morning I'll take the bus at 7am to visit Vezzo, Veryan. I miss that munchkin so much. Veryan was in New York together with me. She was there during my introduction days in Midtown Manhattan. It is a weird thing that we actually only have spent 3 days together. It feels like I know her so much longer. well I do know her half a year now, but in person, face to face, we only just met. I just can't wait to get up, way to early, so that I can see her. Those days that we were in New York were amazing and it feels like I am going to have that same feelings all over again. Can't stop smiling when I think about it. this will be my first trip. Why I waited that long? I don't know. It might make this trip even more special. 

Veryan made plans for the weekend. From what she told me, it is going to be exactly as I imagine a summer weekend in North Carolina. I think my expectations are pretty high. I should't do that because I am scared it might not come true. Honestly tough, even if it is going to rain the whole weekend and we spent all our time inside, it will be a weekend that I'll never forget. -side note, just checked the weather forecast, it's going to be warm and sunny-

I'll have a full weekend and memorial day off. That will be my first long weekend off. since I arrived in December I have been working all the time. I had a weekend off every month but I didn't do anything special with that time. Now I am finally going to do something with my time. My first break out of the house. 

And than it is going to be June soon. When I come back there will only be a few days left before my dad and sister arrive in New York. The time has past by so quickly but I'm so happy that this weekend is about to arrive. I knew since January that they were coming. Now it is almost here. I will again take the bus, but this time I'll go North. NEW YORK. I miss that city so much and when I left it was winter. So it will be a completely different feeling now that it is summer! 

We made some plans, My dad, sister and I but what we didn't really schedule things yet. They have places they want to see and so have I. For me, personally, I am just really happy that they are going to bring me 'stroopwaffels, ontbijtkoek en hagelslag' that is the only thing I care about. haha NOOO. I am going to save my tears. I can cry out off happiness only by the though of hugging them. They are almost here, almost. I am counting down, can not wait.   

I have been wondering around my town and I am ready to explore more. Excitement all over the place for sure. Seeing people I miss and combining that with some free time and awesome places. Places I have never been before, places I really want to see again. I will not stop smiling, maybe I will never stop smiling. Maybe that is a awesome idea, not even maybe, it just is.
    

Four Counties United

This blog I promise you to not go to deep. I think it is time for a flat and a back to basic blog. One were I tell you what I am actually doing here. Not one were I tell you what happens in my head, because I shouldn't think that you are all bordered by that. So I am going to tell you what I did.

First of all, Lets just say that the weather is amazing. Except from some rain it is basically summer here. This week it is going to be 85F everyday, haha. Now I have to be honest, I had to look that up for you. I knew it was going to be 30C. I don't get the Fahrenheit at all. I Love the summer weather, right now I love it. Pretty soon I probably wouldn't anymore. Never been a summer person, never really liked really hot weather. I know that is going to be a real summer. Not a summer like in Holland were we are literally talking about a heath wave if we are having 25C for 5 days or more. Seeing the weather forecast I know that the first 'heatwave' is going to hit Virginia this week. 

Than this, I am in a generation were we all are on the internet, basically everyday. So there are a lot of things to say about that. Most of those things I agree with. Because I also think that we get sucked up and waist or time a lot on here. But there are some really amazing sides of it as well. Two years ago I went to Estonia for a exchange project for school. And I am pretty sure I already wrote that somewhere here. So am I sure that I wrote that that was such an amazing experience. Well I went there with a bunch school friends, because it was a project organized by my school, but there were also Italians. And right now I doubt more than ever if there were other countries involved. Pretty sure there weren't. In that week we all connected and got along really well. Everyone is so openminded and very adventures. 

So at the end of the week we all left back to our own county and the people from Estonia of course just stayed. I don't know how many year back I have to go to say that you will probably lose the connection because writing mails or letters is just not working well. Maybe with the boy or girl that hosted you and maybe one more with who you connected with really well, but that that would be it. Right now in this generation we add each other on Facebook. It doesn't say that you write one and other, but you are been able to know what everyone is up to. So I knew that there was one Italian friend that moved to Missouri. That is somewhere in the middle of the US. So she posted on Facebook that she was in DC and was loving it. I jumped on that opportunity and asked her for how long she will be here. Her answer was , Wednesday. So asking her on a Sunday night we decided to meet on Monday for lunch. You can say what you want about the internet generation as much as I will agree, I will disagree with you too. This would have never happened if there was no Facebook. 

Camillia is a exchange student and she is doing High School. I felt pretty jealous, how cool it sounds and seeing her pictures it must be pretty awesome.  At the same time she told me she would have loved to live near a big city. I have to say that I hit the jackpot with that. I am not happy with the fact I had to change families but I can tell everyone for the rest of my life that I have lived near the biggest city and the capitol of the USA. I am proud of that and I love it. We had lunch and a wonder around. Talked about how cool it is to meet. We united four countries. Me as representing Holland and she is did that for Italy. That is two, I know. But we met each other in Estonia and we were both currently living in the USA. That is four. My math skills are brilliant.

So I am going to enjoy my day with my shorts and sunglasses on. Now the weather in Holland is really rainy and bad I like to tell you all that. I think we had one or two weeks of spring weather. Now it is bloody hot and I need to enjoy it before I start complaining about bugs, sweaty hands, keeping the window open at night and waking up at 4am because the new neighbors have chicken and more. haha. 

I love you all, bye bye and smile. That is how I used to end my blogs. Apparently I am not really consistent with that! 

Time

It is so obvious. The time is passing by. That a moment that you life right now will soon starts to be a memory. sometimes to remember, sometimes to just have lived. A lifetime isn't as long as I think it is. Right now I am twenty years old. What basically means that I have spent twenty year doing what I did. It feels like I havent achieved a lot. I graduated. So that didn't happen without working for it. I life in the USA, were I also had to work my butt off for. I am the au-pair I wanted to be for over 3 years. And struggles have been fought and won. I am only twenty years old so who am I to say that I feel like I haven't achieved a lot. It's seems obvious. Well if the first twenty years I lived weren't the year for me to achieve a lot, will that mean that the next twenty will. If I blink with my eyes, will I be there ? 

It's deep. But I start thinking about it. This is my sixth month here and I only have twelve months. Time is passing by so scarily fast. May 2007 I lost my granddad. The only one I had. It feels like was last week talking to him, hugging him, losing him. I honestly can't believe that it is seven years ago. I give my stuffed elephant a kiss every night before I fall asleep. The stuffed animal he gave me a month before he passed away. How many kisses that animal has got. How much strength he gives me. It is seven years ago and every time I see the pandora charm on my bracelet I miss him. He was 80 years old when I was born and I am so happy that I got to meet him, that I remember him. That he was strong and old enough to make my mum's greatest fear not to come true. Because I can remember him. I always will. It is seven years ago. Opa would have been 100 this year in June. He isn't here anymore but I will celebrate his birthday with joy. I'll raise my glass and hope to get as old and healthy as he was. 

Can we all agree on the fact that time goes by way to quick. Even when I think that time goes way to slow, it goes fast. Because thinking back at my time at school I wish I was still there. To just be the simple human being I am. I don't say that my life is complicated but I wish I could still get away with "I don't know what I want to study". I wish that times were I have to pay rent or bills weren't coming closer every day. But it is. And I need to get my head around a study I really like. 

Next month my dad and sister are coming to New York City and I can't wait to go back and see them. But before that day is here. I'll enjoy today. Because I can't believe that I am were I wanted to be for over 3 years. That I achieved a main goal in life I had made. How tired or sad I can feel. It can't beat the feeling of excitement. It can't beat the fact that I life the live I really wanted to life. I am honestly happy the time has passed till today. That I made it to this place.  And the that the tear that has dropped can dissolve in a huge smile. 

Happy Birthday to Me!

From now on I will sound way more grown up. Did that mean that a week ago I was a lot more childish? No absolutely not. The fact is that I am not a teenager anymore. But I will not lose my teenager self. What I meant with that was that it will sound more grown up. The word 'twenty'. I turn twenty and for me that is not going to mean a lot. Still to young to go out and party here and till to young to get a glass of wine in public. Well that is how it is. 

Celebrating my birthday this year was in every word different. First of all, I turnt 20 on April 17th this year. A day earlier. There is no date as ugly as that day. I have never disliked a date more than that one. And only because I have to wait one more day. Yes I can be super inpatient. 

Just when I started diner I got messages of my dad and some friends. I didn't forget it but I wasn't looking at the clock all the time. So when it actually was 6pm and my phone started buzzing I realized that in Holland it was April 18th. And if I was still in Holland it immediately felt like it was my birthday. Anouk started calling me and my host mom told me to answer it. So there she was, her voice almost made me cry. The sweetest wishes and of course a song. Pour girl stayed up until 12pm, or maybe not just for me. "The parting goes on without you, Nienk" says she to herself.   

The next morning, April 18th, my actual birthday. and I still think it is the most amazing day of the year. Only the sound of it makes me happy. Looking at a calendar or seeing it on my phone makes me smile. That is not weird, at least I think so. I really wanted to dress up. Tights and a dress are quite unusual for me. It is just not convenient to play with kids in a dress. Plus I love wearing jeans and t-shirts. So I decided to wear a dress that I actually saved to wear on my birthday. And Finally that morning I was allowed to read the cards that my family and friends sent me. I did not received that many card in years. 

My phone buzzed, this time it was Noortje. I was about to leave but that could wait a bit. I miss her a lot. Good to speak with her and quickly update her on me. While she needs to update me more about her, because in the meantime the went to Dubai. Sadly there was not a long time to talk. It was time to go. A new adventure with a old friend. I got my text from Anne that they arrived. 

Anne lives in Chigago, the windy city. I met Anne in New York City during the introduction days. It was amazing to she her again and spent my Birthday with her and Guilia, her  friend who lives near me. They planed a mini road trip. First we went to the Great Falls, Not a waterfall but a place in the potomic river were the water.... whatever I do not even have  a clue were I am talking about. Well, the weather was good, no sun but warm. We stayed there for two hours and took a huge amount of photo's, read selfies. After two hours we moved on. Next stop; Annapolis, I did not even heart of it once before. It is in Maryland near Baltimore. Just found out, thanks to wikipedia, that it is actually the capitol of Maryland. Though baltimore is bigger and has more citizens. Annapolis is such a cute city. The Navy it settled in Annapolis. For a second I though we were in England. Oh, haha I love wikipeadia, while I try to write my blogpost I got totally distracted. Do you want to know what I just found out. Annapolis is a sister city of Talinn, Estonia. In 2012 I celebrated my 18th birthday there! I was in Parnu, but still. It makes a circle be rond. moving on with Annapolis, it was so pretty, we walked around and sat down in the most nicest Starbucks ever. Because there is one thing I really wanted and that was some WiFi now and then. Starbucks is everywhere in the States and they will always provide you with some WiFi! than we strolled a bit more. To the bay and walked trough old American/English style streets. 

Just a moment to appreciate all the messages,  just wauw. I got a lot, lot. not only on Facebook but on basically every social media and more. Being far away from home is hard a specially on days like your birthday. But I had such a great day and all those messages brought home a little bit closer. 

After Annapolis we drove back home. While driving back the GPS brought us through the downtown Washington DC during the traffic jam. Awesome, haha that was a way to show Anne the Capitol and the Washington Monument for the first time. It also meant that we drove through three different states in one day. So that made our little road trip sound a lot bigger. 

We had a lovely diner at a tapas bar. My host dad was in Boston with the two oldest girls for spring break, so my host mom took me and my friends out to that restaurant. It was delicious. I had such a good time in that restaurant. And of course I had a delicious desert. A 'Happy Birthday cake' ! A real American birthday cake. If you never been here you might not ever have seen or tasted it. They are super sweet and they have a huge amount of icing on it. It looks really good and they do taste good. But make sure you don't cut a to big of a piece. I made that mistake and Anne, Guilia and myself were not been able to finish that piece. 

Coming home after this day was so good. My phone half exploded because I didn't had any service for a couple of hours. Out of nowhere all those messages arrived and again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. But having no service also meant for me that I had no connection to my family. I am more of a family person than I might want to admit. I would have loved it to Skype my family that day, but sadly enough that was not the case. Anne let me be on her 'Hotspot', but the service wasn't good enough for a Skype call. Well that evening I came home. Happy but kind of sad at the same time. It turns out that there is a huge box in the hall. My dad had sent me tulips. I was alone downstair. Totally cried my eyes out reading the card that my dad wrote me. I miss Holland and the beautiful flower field, but he brought a piece to my. I seriously hugged the flowers, is that weird? It was such a sweet thing. I love my dad a lot.

So here I am one week later, still 20. My cards gradually arrived and even my moms gift made it after a 4week travel. I had an amazing day. Seeing more of the county what I would love to do more and having a really good diner. America you are treating me well, in all aspects of that word. I need to enjoy more and I will because I feel more and more honored to be were I am every day. I like it a lot and I like all of you a lot. It means a lot to me that you wrote this, did you know that? now you do! 

Smithsonian Zoo

Schrik niet, maar hier komt mijn eerste klaagmoment. JEETJE MINA HET IS WARM. haha Ik zit naast mijn raam die ik wijd open heb staan en het is nog steeds bloed heet. Oh en wat vind ik het heerlijk. Zeker om er nu over te klagen. Toen de noordpool zich even hier had gevestigd kon ik niet wachten op dit moment. Op dat moment dat de Noordpool plaats zou maken voor de Savanne.

Oh wauw didn't even notice. I started of in Dutch. I had a moment were I though that I would translate it but I don't even want to. There is this thing called 'Google Translate' and you probably would still not understand a thing of what I said there but I love Dutch and sometimes you will have to life with that.

So basically what I said in Dutch was that it is hot here. It started of on Thursday. 74F what I still don't understand, but I could feel it. It felt really good. The sun was out and it was official. It's spring in Virgina! Spring here means warm weather and a lot of sun. Not even comparable to the Dutch spring. Although I miss the flower fields. There are some flowers now and than. But in the area were I lived in Holland there a squares and squares of flowers and it is such a connection to my Birthday. Flower fields and a birthday party! But I will not complain, although I started my blog with complaining about the weather. I'll tell you. I love the weather more than ever. Because I deserved this weather, more than ever.

So what do you do when the weather is amazing and you have not really anything to do? You go to the Zoo. I knew that is was going to be a good weather that day so on Wednesday I planed my trip. I wanted to ask people to come with me but for some reason I really wanted to go all by myself. I do that a lot lately. Trips all by myself. So I can do whatever I want and no one it going to keep you from your plans. I basically typed in on google; zoo. Guess what, there is a zoo next to the metro line. Couldn't be better. Well good I found a zoo, but now I needed to know I much I had to pay. And if I did not already found an amazing trip myself, it was not going to cost me anything. 

It's almost weird how much fun I had on my own. People are way more open to you when you are just standing there all by yourself. "Isn't it gorges how the feathers are all different colors?" I normally don't really like birds. This man did and his daughter who must been around 2years old might have been on my level. "I like taking my pretty girl to the zoo but I can't stent it that they arent free." He was way to interested for me "But sometimes the bad isn't that bad and than we shall appreciate them" I just laughed and wished them a nice day. Didn't wanted to be rude but I just couldn't say anything to him. While walking towards the seals I couldn't stop smiling. I thought about the fact that I used to hate zoos. I was never really interested in animals and I didn't care at all. This zoo for some reason gave me such a happy feeling. Still not really interested but that didn't border me. 

I only had two hours so I kind of rushed through the zoo. And because I was all by myself I didn't mind. I walked little faster than I should have if I had the time so that I could stand still whenever I felt like it. Like when I just couldn't stop looking at a toddler losing his mind at the children's farm and a specially at the pigs. Making pig noises and pulling his nose up. Dancing around trying to get the pigs attention. Or a little girl that couldn't stop asking het mom to visit the "roars".

For me, days like that are moments to relax and think about everything that I've achieved. Surely I can tell that I feel proud of were I am today. I feel really well and I kind of think that the weather helps me with that. Everything looks more pretty when the sun is out. I'm feeling very luckey and I enjoy my adventure everyday more and more.

Pictures

Last week I was ready to confront myself. Now today I can tell I wasn't. I decided to go through my pictures on my laptop and put them on a USB stick so I could print them. I adore printed pictures. holding a picture in my hands feels so much better than on my screen. So last week I printed 60 pictures of my friends, family and some memorable moments. If I knew this I wouldn't have done in, but it did hurt me. I got a huge feeling of homesickness. I miss everybody a lot and having a picture doesn't fill that. 

Though I was happy that I got them and posted a picture on Instagram of a bunch of the pictures. within a hour I got a few messages of my friends telling me the memory behind the picture or just telling me they missed me. So I could only respond saying that I missed them too, because I do miss them a lot. 

It took me a couple of days to get over that feeling. So now that I put them back in the envelope I feel content having them. It's a neutral feeling about the pictures. I have to feel strong and for a moment I didn't. So everyone is like; "are you going to put all your pictures on the wall?" No I'm not. I want to have them to remember the moments and go through them when I want. 

Because the memories do make me feel so happy. The week I spent with my cousins and a friend of my cousin in Austria. Hiking and hiking and more hiking. You know what, that week was such a lesson. I underestimated the hiking, but I did it and I'm honored that my cousins asked me. The pictures are amazing and the places we went were so pretty. And every time I see them doing it over and over again a million times harder then what I did I give them a massive amount of respect.

Then the pictures of Estonia. Two years ago I went to Estonia as a exchange student. Together with a lot of friends we stayed a week with a Estonian student and explored their town and a bit of their country. I even celebrated my 18th birthday there. When I went trough those pictures I couldn't stop smiling. That week was so much fun. I am so happy I did that. I doubted going because I wouldn't be home on my birthday. But who can say they spent there birthday with a family they just met a couple of days ago in a country you never been before. Maybe you did, well I didn't and it was a amazing day. Not only that day but literally every day was so much fun. 

Making a lot of pictures means remembering a lot of memories I might forget. So I capture them.

So I printed a lot of pictures basically to have them by my side. For now that is the best option because that gives me the best feeling. And you know what, I can wait to put them in the box with all my childhood pictures. They belong to my collection of joy.