Time is getting less and less and I have come to realize that I haven't seen enough of the USA yet. I have until December to travel wherever I want to go inside of this gigantic county. Last month I randomly booked my ticket to go to Denver, Colorado. Well I have thought about it a proper amount of time, but it was no longer than a week.
If you know me well you know that that is not me at all. I got a little anxious about it, but mainly because it made me super excited. I booked my ticket to fly to Denver on a Friday night and to go back on Sunday evening. During my ASL classes I met Ines. She came all the way from Colorado to Baltimore to take the classes. I had a great laugh with her that weekend. When she told me she lived so far away I was pretty sure I was not going to see her again here. At the same time I realized I knew someone else who lives in Colorado who I really wanted to meet. So why not Nienke, Why not just go.
That other person is Ester. When I started my blog and YouTube channel I knew that there were more than 'just my friends and family' that were been able to see those medias. My agency in Holland contacted me when I posted my first video. They asked me if they were been able to put a link to my YouTube channel on their website. So that new au-pairs were been able to see how it is to be an au-pair. They can follow me through my lows and highs. Ester was the first one to get in contact me. It is really cool to see that what I started did get people to become an au-pair. They probably would have anyway, but maybe for some I could give little push.
Ester was one of them. No, for Ester I was just making the picture clearer. I know for over 500% that she would be where she is now, without me too. She asked me questions and over time we started to Skype. We started a friendship that was based on the same dream. Being an au-pair in USA. She was still in Holland and I was moving to Virginia. I made my dream come true and while she was finishing school she was getting ready to do the same. I saw here grow in this adventure. Everyday she came closer and closer. When we started to Skype she was about to sent her applications to the Dutch agency. I was been able to follow her from the start. From filling in the papers to arriving in Denver. I was reliving it all over again. Months past and now I was about time to meet each other.
Friday first. I had to work and on friday my days are hectic. I have to do the laundry and so some cleaning. At the same time I had to get ready to leave at 6:30. I had to pack my bag. I had to bring DVDs back to the central library a few miles away and what about my own laundry. Welcome to my friday. It is the first time in my life that I wake up on friday and I have the thought "oh no, friday" haha. Even though the day was insanely buzzy I was been able to get in all organized. At 6 O'clock I was all packed and the laundry was done. The house was done and the DVDs were back at the library. With done I mean I did most of the cleaning but I was not been able to get it all done in time. Girls room were organized and the floors were vacuumed so I know I did my best towards to most important parts.
The lovely Katerine brought me to the airport. Still super grateful for that. I flew at 10:10pm what gave me some time to kill. I always want to be in time, just can't stand to come late. Especially when it comes to going on planes. Than it is not about no been able to stand to be late, but if you are late you are screwed. So why not arriving there 3hours to early, haha. The flight was good and I arrived in Denver 11:50pm local time. There is a time difference of 2 hours. I flew twice for 3,5 hours for just one weekend. Ines, the sweetheart, picked my up at midnight. I was so happy to see her. I was exhausted from the flight. It took us quite a while to get to Ines's house because she is living in the mountains. What I absolutely adore. It was 2am in Colorado, 4am on the east coast and 10am in Holland. I was kind of delirious of tiredness and I should have immediately got to bed, but I instead of that decided to Skype my dad. He answered the call in his robe. He was already up for 2 hours. Most of the time the time difference is the stupidest thing on earth, though sometimes it is funny. I told him that my flight went well and how tired I was and then I kind of fell asleep.
Good morning America, I have woken up in this country quite a lot now. This was the best one. The view was incredible and Ines made me a delicious smoothie with a Spanish breakfast. Ines is a Spanier, well that is who she calls herself. For me it sounds like she is descended from a dog breed. haha. I would say she is Spanish. Before I came to Colorado I only had one place I really wanted to go to. Let Ines not have been there yet; 'The Gardens of the God'. It is this such a breathtaking place. It is a nature park with gigantic red rock formation. For me the typical nature of the US. I absolutely loved it.
Later that afternoon we drove to Denver. Ines lives 30minutes away from downtown and due to the fact that I arrived super late the evening before I hadn't seen Denver itself yet. Though there was something quite not like my style going on downtown. The annual zombie crawl. I DO NOT LIKE THAT. It looked really, really great though. It was not just some people with ripped clothes and fake blood. It was a proper zombie crawl, with prober make-up and costumes multiplied by hundreds. Writing about it I gives me shivers all over my body again.I get scared so easily. -- I think it is time to blame my brother and sister. I've said over all my social medias how big of a baby I am. That is all due to the fact that the two of you scared me all my life and enjoyed it more than you should have had! THANKS-- I was petrified, but as long as they just past me I was doing fine, deep breath. haha.
That afternoon it was finally time to meet Ester in person. This is the 'I forgot to count' time to tell everyone that I am so proud of you and I am extremely glad that I got to see you. To give you the biggest hug and to talk to you for hours straight. To tell you in person who I feel about everything you've done. Such a huge achievement and I at this point couldn't be happier for you! She was exactly as I expected her to be. It was almost impossible to be different, because we have shared stories almost every day. She joined me and Ines for diner and after a nice evening we convinced her to stay the night with us so that she could join us the next day.
This was the shortest trip of my life and the next morning I was putting everything back in my mini suitcase and printed my ticket already. We had quite some time before my flight. We went to the red rock amphitheater. Crazy views and I secretly wish that there was some time to visit a concert there. That must look amazing. Some lunch at the Evergreen Lake and than it was time to go to the airport. It was such a great weekend and I was so glad that I got to spent some time with these two amazing girls. Denver, Colorado is stunning and defiantly a place you should visit. You have the city and within half a hour you are in the mountains and than don't forget the red colored rocks everywhere. I was really lucky with my timing, because Autumn is the most colorful time of the year. Especially in Colorado. The weather was so good and quite warm at some moments. It was only for short time, but it was more that worth it!
Colorado thank you. You need to know that you are lucky having these great girls in your pretty state. Take care of them now that I am far away again. I love you!
Wednesday, 5 November 2014
Wednesday, 15 October 2014
I've Decided
It is ridicules what I know for quite a while now. I am going home. I am actually going home. Last year this time I was over excited because this adventure came so close now. I finally had a family after dreaming about it for months. Did I every tell you that I wanted to be an au-pair for over 3 years before I did it. The though that I am going to finish within 6 weeks is mental. I knew that this was going to come and I was prepared. It is weird non the less. I have been in the states since December 2nd, 2013. That means my year will end on December 2nd, 2014. I had multiple options when this date game closer and closer. I choose the one, what might be the least chosen one. I wanted to go back home.
I have been all over the place with what I wanted. The other options I had were for me to stay for 6,9 or 12 more months. That could be in the current family I am in or I could find a new one. I was in decidable for a really long time. The fist time I started to think about extending was in month 5. That was my second month in my current family. That is kind of extreme. It felt like I just arrived and everyone was already asking me if I knew if I wanted to stay longer. Until a few weeks ago I might not have had sleepless nights about it, but they gradually came. Nights I was doubting about what I REALLY wanted. How could I decided this for myself. Mam, Dad? I have skyped my parents way to much. For them it might not feel like that though. Well that was I felt, Nienke grow up, you are 20 now! Make your own decisions they wouldn't anymore.
For the longest time I wanted to say. Only 6 months. That has a reason. You might know that I only graduated High School and I want to do something with the degree I have. I want to go back to school after the summer of 2015. So the option I gave myself was 6 more months in the USA. I felt great with that though. I was happy now that I "decided" that. What? no, I did not actually decided that. I think that for approximately 3 months I was pretty sure I was going to do that. I really wanted to go to the west coast to stay with an other family. For a new experience. For new adventures.
It was up until a moment that someone told me that it might not be possible to find a new family for just 6 months. That made me rethink that I might prefer to stay with my current family. Not a bad idea at all. Why making it hard when it can be so much more easier. I was loving these girls more each day. The connection between them and me grew and I was been able to control them better than ever before. I was getting use to the idea of staying with this family.
All of a sudden one day, one moment in that day and that plan faded away. From being 80% sure staying in the states to 80% sure about going away. I cried about it, a ton. How could I do that to myself? How could I make my plans fade away so easily? The answer to that wasn't too hard to find. I wanted to move on. Wanted to see more and learn new things. Yes I love these girls a lot and my schedule fits me perfectly. I felt there was a stagnation going on in my life. When I get that feeling I get really, really anxious. Without noticing that feeling creeped in on me over time. It only needed a smal touch in order to come to the surface.
The decision is hard, but the one I made is perfect. I got new opportunities and I can not wait to grab those once. It was better for me to move on. For others it is way more fun to stay for an other couple of months. I listened to what my feelings told me. Than I listed it to see if those feelings were right. I went through them over and over again. I can not stop smiling now that I know what I am going to do the next few months. It is going to be amazing. I will definably let some tears fall down, but I know it is good. This adventure is mine, I can't believe it. This is my dream and I will not stop dreaming any time soon!
I have been all over the place with what I wanted. The other options I had were for me to stay for 6,9 or 12 more months. That could be in the current family I am in or I could find a new one. I was in decidable for a really long time. The fist time I started to think about extending was in month 5. That was my second month in my current family. That is kind of extreme. It felt like I just arrived and everyone was already asking me if I knew if I wanted to stay longer. Until a few weeks ago I might not have had sleepless nights about it, but they gradually came. Nights I was doubting about what I REALLY wanted. How could I decided this for myself. Mam, Dad? I have skyped my parents way to much. For them it might not feel like that though. Well that was I felt, Nienke grow up, you are 20 now! Make your own decisions they wouldn't anymore.
For the longest time I wanted to say. Only 6 months. That has a reason. You might know that I only graduated High School and I want to do something with the degree I have. I want to go back to school after the summer of 2015. So the option I gave myself was 6 more months in the USA. I felt great with that though. I was happy now that I "decided" that. What? no, I did not actually decided that. I think that for approximately 3 months I was pretty sure I was going to do that. I really wanted to go to the west coast to stay with an other family. For a new experience. For new adventures.
It was up until a moment that someone told me that it might not be possible to find a new family for just 6 months. That made me rethink that I might prefer to stay with my current family. Not a bad idea at all. Why making it hard when it can be so much more easier. I was loving these girls more each day. The connection between them and me grew and I was been able to control them better than ever before. I was getting use to the idea of staying with this family.
All of a sudden one day, one moment in that day and that plan faded away. From being 80% sure staying in the states to 80% sure about going away. I cried about it, a ton. How could I do that to myself? How could I make my plans fade away so easily? The answer to that wasn't too hard to find. I wanted to move on. Wanted to see more and learn new things. Yes I love these girls a lot and my schedule fits me perfectly. I felt there was a stagnation going on in my life. When I get that feeling I get really, really anxious. Without noticing that feeling creeped in on me over time. It only needed a smal touch in order to come to the surface.
I was so confused. Though overall I was relieved. I knew I was going to have an other great 6 months here, but I couldn't come to 100% security. As soon as the tide turned I knew it was the best choice to go. I wrote letters to myself, made pro's and con's and spook to my family and friends. I was right. As the 80% became 85 and everyday the percentage grew. It got to the point I reached 98%. Up until today I switch between 99 and 98. How can you be 100% sure you want to leave a family you started to love or friends I made over time. But it was enough for me to realize that I wanted to go back home for Christmas. Not that that was a reason to go, but it is a huge plus that I get to celebrate that with my own family.
I am super excited for the time I still have. Every day is a new one. Today the sun disappeared and swimming pools are turning up on the side of the roads. Lightning strikes and the thunder is extremely loud, well I am not complaining. I secretly like these kind of rainy days. This weekend I am going to see two friends in Denver. I flight in on Friday night and will leave Sunday evening. It is a 3,5h flight, but I couldn't be bordered. I really wanted to go and so I booked.
The decision is hard, but the one I made is perfect. I got new opportunities and I can not wait to grab those once. It was better for me to move on. For others it is way more fun to stay for an other couple of months. I listened to what my feelings told me. Than I listed it to see if those feelings were right. I went through them over and over again. I can not stop smiling now that I know what I am going to do the next few months. It is going to be amazing. I will definably let some tears fall down, but I know it is good. This adventure is mine, I can't believe it. This is my dream and I will not stop dreaming any time soon!
Saturday, 27 September 2014
Sign Language Classes
I finally finished my classes. I did a two-weekend course about sign language. It is incredible how deaf people can communicate as fast as speaking/hearing people can. It is rather fascinating. I had this fascination for a while and during in New York I saw a ASL class. ASL means American Sign Language. It was in my list of 'courses wanting to do'. Well I did not, but that had noting to do with the class. I left New York before signing up for it. While being in Virginia I did not enroll any classes. To clarify, I need to have 6 credits to get my certificate. I did not enroll yet when a friend of me told me she was going to do an ASL courses for 6 credits. It was the ultimate change to get my credits and do the coursers I originally wanted to do.
During the first weekend we stayed in a lovely hotel and got the ASL class. The entire morning we got most of the basic signs taught. It was a long day and that was the first time in over a year that I was back in a school bank. It was funny because I had found myself having trouble to concentrate. Being in school and being focus is a real skill. Never been a focused student, but this was worst. However at the end I knew a lot of signs. The teacher showed us the signs multiple times and so I got a good change of getting most of them. It is so hard to learn. My hand-brain coordination is not that good. But I'm been able to start a conversation and count to 20. That is basically as much as I can in French and that is a language I had for over 3 years.
The next morning we were suppose to get more classes. Not even ASL but some random classes. We woke up and non of the lights worked. Strange, we had ordered some breakfast and the guy who brought us or food told up that there was a black out. Great why don't they fix it, was my first though. Jokingly saying that we hoped that the classes got delayed so that we could lay in a little more. When we came downstairs the whole hotel was pitch black. Quite cool actually. We had to sit down and listen really carefully. Summary: CLASSES GOT CANCELED and we were still going to get our credits. I felt like that schoolgirl again that got the call that here first hour got canceled. I was wide away all of a suedes, could not be any happier.
Well we went home and a month later we had to back. This time I didn't want the second day to be canceled. I got pretty cool classes that day. Well Saturday morning weekend number two. Teacher forgot that she needed to give a class. She was two hours late. For some reason our classes got a lot of luck. During those two hours I was been able to actually meet my fellow ASL students. The first weekend I did not really meet new people because we were only in class, listening to the teacher. Now we had two hours to meet the girls in the room. Well there was Eileen. A German girl right in front of me. We had a good conversation. With not only Eileen but all the girls in the row in front of me. I feel like I just left everyone else out. Don't mean it like that, haha. It was so nice to meet new people and she lived really close, YEESS!! The teacher came and she basically repeated the first weekend class. she wanted to see how much we remembered. I did remembered quite a lot, but I was hiding in the back so did not really got many turns. My fascination for sign language grew a lot during these weekends. During lunch I set with Ines. A spanish girl who had lived in Brussels for a couple of months. Not that Flemish is the same as Dutch but she new quite a few words. It intrigued me and we had a good chat. Though Ines did not lived close at all. She lives in Dever, Colorado. That was kind of sad because I really liked her. Now I have a new address in a city I might visit ;) That afternoon we had a fencing class. don't want to make this blog too long, but it was awesome. Apart from the 5 million bug bites and the high humanity. It was insanely hot outside and the fencing teacher decided to give a class outside. Well I still enjoyed it a lot and I also found out that I am not the greatest fencer. Ines in the other hand was a natural. Even dared the teacher to fight with her, daredevil !
The next days I had life skill class. Did not know what to expect. She teacher was amazing and had to hold my tears in a couple of times. She touched me in the deepest of my mind and heart. She told us that being in the states, far away from home, shows guts. I have heard that multiple times. For some reason she brought is just right. This was only the beginning of all we were going to achieve. Don't be scared if you don't know what you want further in life. Try to do what you like and opportunities will come. In those hours in her class I changed a lot in my nearest future. I need to follow my heart and then my mind will follow. Sometimes I just think to much. I am going to do things I feel like doing. Sometimes they will bring some risk to be honest. Sometimes it wasn't the right thing to do, but hé I am like that anyway. I shouldn't be scared to fail. The only failure is never to try. Being were I am right now is quite the risk itself. Listen, not that I changed my whole life plan all of a sudden. It just cleared up a lot for me. I got more and more excited for all what is going to come.
During the first weekend we stayed in a lovely hotel and got the ASL class. The entire morning we got most of the basic signs taught. It was a long day and that was the first time in over a year that I was back in a school bank. It was funny because I had found myself having trouble to concentrate. Being in school and being focus is a real skill. Never been a focused student, but this was worst. However at the end I knew a lot of signs. The teacher showed us the signs multiple times and so I got a good change of getting most of them. It is so hard to learn. My hand-brain coordination is not that good. But I'm been able to start a conversation and count to 20. That is basically as much as I can in French and that is a language I had for over 3 years.
The next morning we were suppose to get more classes. Not even ASL but some random classes. We woke up and non of the lights worked. Strange, we had ordered some breakfast and the guy who brought us or food told up that there was a black out. Great why don't they fix it, was my first though. Jokingly saying that we hoped that the classes got delayed so that we could lay in a little more. When we came downstairs the whole hotel was pitch black. Quite cool actually. We had to sit down and listen really carefully. Summary: CLASSES GOT CANCELED and we were still going to get our credits. I felt like that schoolgirl again that got the call that here first hour got canceled. I was wide away all of a suedes, could not be any happier.
Well we went home and a month later we had to back. This time I didn't want the second day to be canceled. I got pretty cool classes that day. Well Saturday morning weekend number two. Teacher forgot that she needed to give a class. She was two hours late. For some reason our classes got a lot of luck. During those two hours I was been able to actually meet my fellow ASL students. The first weekend I did not really meet new people because we were only in class, listening to the teacher. Now we had two hours to meet the girls in the room. Well there was Eileen. A German girl right in front of me. We had a good conversation. With not only Eileen but all the girls in the row in front of me. I feel like I just left everyone else out. Don't mean it like that, haha. It was so nice to meet new people and she lived really close, YEESS!! The teacher came and she basically repeated the first weekend class. she wanted to see how much we remembered. I did remembered quite a lot, but I was hiding in the back so did not really got many turns. My fascination for sign language grew a lot during these weekends. During lunch I set with Ines. A spanish girl who had lived in Brussels for a couple of months. Not that Flemish is the same as Dutch but she new quite a few words. It intrigued me and we had a good chat. Though Ines did not lived close at all. She lives in Dever, Colorado. That was kind of sad because I really liked her. Now I have a new address in a city I might visit ;) That afternoon we had a fencing class. don't want to make this blog too long, but it was awesome. Apart from the 5 million bug bites and the high humanity. It was insanely hot outside and the fencing teacher decided to give a class outside. Well I still enjoyed it a lot and I also found out that I am not the greatest fencer. Ines in the other hand was a natural. Even dared the teacher to fight with her, daredevil !
The next days I had life skill class. Did not know what to expect. She teacher was amazing and had to hold my tears in a couple of times. She touched me in the deepest of my mind and heart. She told us that being in the states, far away from home, shows guts. I have heard that multiple times. For some reason she brought is just right. This was only the beginning of all we were going to achieve. Don't be scared if you don't know what you want further in life. Try to do what you like and opportunities will come. In those hours in her class I changed a lot in my nearest future. I need to follow my heart and then my mind will follow. Sometimes I just think to much. I am going to do things I feel like doing. Sometimes they will bring some risk to be honest. Sometimes it wasn't the right thing to do, but hé I am like that anyway. I shouldn't be scared to fail. The only failure is never to try. Being were I am right now is quite the risk itself. Listen, not that I changed my whole life plan all of a sudden. It just cleared up a lot for me. I got more and more excited for all what is going to come.
Monday, 22 September 2014
Last Summer Weekend
I'm not going to lie. Sometime life takes over and I just can't get myself to calm down. Exicetment and millions of other feelings going through my body. I like that most of the time. I can strangely enjoy it when life takes over. But I knew I needed to get it together and direct my life myself again. So I am going to try to get the three blogpost I want to write up on this blog. I commit now that I will do that this week. That is a huge commitment because my life is not going to be a little less crazy this week. First I am going to write about this weekend, because than at least I will have this one up, haha.
This might have been the last summer weekend. The weather was getting slightly colder the past two weeks. This weekend the heat came back. Just for this weekend. This week the temperature will drop again. So I was going to make the best of it.
I did a lot this weekend. I did a lot for my standards. Saturday morning the Oldest had a Girls scout meeting at a horse farm. My host mom asked me if I liked to come along. I was so happy she asked me. That is weird because I do not really like horses, I don't hate them, but I also don't really like them. We had to drive for an hour and I finally got to see an other side of Virginia. It was gorgeous there. It was the more of the county side, not like in Texas cowboy movies though. Maybe not because we were still in Virginia and not in Texas, but I was close. It was greener, I guess. It was a glorious day, the sun was out and the weather was more than perfect to ride horses. So that was exactly what I DIDN'T do. No I don't ride horses. The animals are amazing to look at, so that is was I did. I looked and waved! The barn was so picturesque (fancy word alert). It was a red barn aside of a small river. Green hills on the background and horses on the fields around it. This farm was over 200 years old and George Washington had visited it. Great facts aren't they? It got me. This was so nearby and I had not even seen anything like this during all those months. The gorgeous nature slammed me in the face and that was more than deserved. I needed to wake up and see more than Washington DC.
Later that day I got out right away.This trip was already planned for two weeks, but the timing was perfect. That afternoon Eileen picked me up. How I met Eileen? haha, That will future in one of my next blogs. Well oke, I met Eileen during my sign language classes two weeks ago. But I will write an other blog about those classes. Eileen is a person I just clicked with and I am so happy that she lives nearby. We drove to the National Harbor. We wanted to have some good pictures. So we sat down and we found out right away that the light was way to bright to get a nice one. It was such a glorious day and the sun was bright like never before, what is amazing. Maybe not for a the good picture. I will tell you something, a secret that is not that big of a secret. There is this time in the day that has the name 'golden hour'. It is right before the sun sets. That is the best time of the day to get some good photo's.The light is soft and if gives you a golden glow. So we first had some dinner and decided to come back later. Right when we came back the golden hour started. We shamelessly took quite a lot of pictures. We climbed on the rocks not knowing if that was illegal and smiled as if we had just found a million dollars. When the sun was set and my camera was sick and tired of the mermaid poses we finally stopped. We had some relaxing time at the harbor and enjoyed the evening as much as we could. It was great to talk with Eileen. Not only because she laughed at my stupid jokes that weren't funny most of the time, but also because there were so many things we have in common. We are still getting to know each other. Sometimes it's so nice to start with a blank page that you can fill with just the right stories. New friendships can sometimes be as good as the old ones. It was a lovely day and I kind of had the feeling of having a little vacation.
Next morning. I went out with Veerle and guess what, she is Dutch, GREAT! Even though I am here to increase my English it is just great to speak my native language sometimes. The entire day I've been speaking Dutch. Not so great if you want to write a English blogpost that evening and your head is still half in Dutch mode. Never really been good with my grammar anyway so bare with me! Veerle had exactly the same feeling I had. We wanted to see more and do more than just walk around DC. I know Veerle for a couple of months now. Our friendship has grown overtime and I feel like we are getting along better and better. I know I am the only Dutch person she is meeting up with here. She feels the same about meeting Dutch people. We left that tiny country to get to know new people with different cultures. Well sometimes it is just nice to talk your own language. It is the most entertaining thing to talk Dutch in the States. NO ONE understands you and you get the craziest looks. It is funny how people try to figure out where you are from, but they simply can't. Most Americans can identify Spanish and German. But you can see their thoughts in the look of there eyes "That doesn't sound like German" Well no it isn't and it is not similar at all. After 5 years of German at school I can still barely understand it.
Veerle and I decided that we wanted to go picnicking at the Great Falls. I went there on my 20th Birthday. That was months ago and it was when Winter just ended. The trees were still bare and the river was all grey, back then. Now it is the end of summer. The trees are green, some are even turing red and orange and the water was really blue, just like the sky. It was extremely hot. It was over 30C, please don't ask me what that is in Fahrenheit. We found a little spot in the shade and served ourselves a nice lunch. We sat there for quite a while. We mostly talked, about simply everything that were are not been able to explain in English. Things that only Dutch people understand. Haha, Oke not sure if that was a thing, but now it is!
How easily a weekend can be really good. Find some friends and go out. Explore! It is not that hard and it might take some time to get there. I am having such a great time now. I had such a great weekend and that was just because I was out and about. I went to a horse farmhouse with my host family, to the National Harbor to watch the sunset and I had a lovely picnic at the gorgeous Great Falls. The summer will come to an end and the Autumn will kick in. So I think I did the best I could to get the most out of it. I am really excited for Autumn. Fireplaces, warm drinks, orange leaves and Halloween. I am the worst to scare. I will cry as soon as you touch my shoulder when I don't expect it. So don't know how excited I actually am about halloween, but still. It was still summer this weekend, but I am pretty sure it is time to put the shorts away and get the wooly cardigans out. I am excited for it, quite a lot to be honest!
This might have been the last summer weekend. The weather was getting slightly colder the past two weeks. This weekend the heat came back. Just for this weekend. This week the temperature will drop again. So I was going to make the best of it.
I did a lot this weekend. I did a lot for my standards. Saturday morning the Oldest had a Girls scout meeting at a horse farm. My host mom asked me if I liked to come along. I was so happy she asked me. That is weird because I do not really like horses, I don't hate them, but I also don't really like them. We had to drive for an hour and I finally got to see an other side of Virginia. It was gorgeous there. It was the more of the county side, not like in Texas cowboy movies though. Maybe not because we were still in Virginia and not in Texas, but I was close. It was greener, I guess. It was a glorious day, the sun was out and the weather was more than perfect to ride horses. So that was exactly what I DIDN'T do. No I don't ride horses. The animals are amazing to look at, so that is was I did. I looked and waved! The barn was so picturesque (fancy word alert). It was a red barn aside of a small river. Green hills on the background and horses on the fields around it. This farm was over 200 years old and George Washington had visited it. Great facts aren't they? It got me. This was so nearby and I had not even seen anything like this during all those months. The gorgeous nature slammed me in the face and that was more than deserved. I needed to wake up and see more than Washington DC.
Later that day I got out right away.This trip was already planned for two weeks, but the timing was perfect. That afternoon Eileen picked me up. How I met Eileen? haha, That will future in one of my next blogs. Well oke, I met Eileen during my sign language classes two weeks ago. But I will write an other blog about those classes. Eileen is a person I just clicked with and I am so happy that she lives nearby. We drove to the National Harbor. We wanted to have some good pictures. So we sat down and we found out right away that the light was way to bright to get a nice one. It was such a glorious day and the sun was bright like never before, what is amazing. Maybe not for a the good picture. I will tell you something, a secret that is not that big of a secret. There is this time in the day that has the name 'golden hour'. It is right before the sun sets. That is the best time of the day to get some good photo's.The light is soft and if gives you a golden glow. So we first had some dinner and decided to come back later. Right when we came back the golden hour started. We shamelessly took quite a lot of pictures. We climbed on the rocks not knowing if that was illegal and smiled as if we had just found a million dollars. When the sun was set and my camera was sick and tired of the mermaid poses we finally stopped. We had some relaxing time at the harbor and enjoyed the evening as much as we could. It was great to talk with Eileen. Not only because she laughed at my stupid jokes that weren't funny most of the time, but also because there were so many things we have in common. We are still getting to know each other. Sometimes it's so nice to start with a blank page that you can fill with just the right stories. New friendships can sometimes be as good as the old ones. It was a lovely day and I kind of had the feeling of having a little vacation.
Next morning. I went out with Veerle and guess what, she is Dutch, GREAT! Even though I am here to increase my English it is just great to speak my native language sometimes. The entire day I've been speaking Dutch. Not so great if you want to write a English blogpost that evening and your head is still half in Dutch mode. Never really been good with my grammar anyway so bare with me! Veerle had exactly the same feeling I had. We wanted to see more and do more than just walk around DC. I know Veerle for a couple of months now. Our friendship has grown overtime and I feel like we are getting along better and better. I know I am the only Dutch person she is meeting up with here. She feels the same about meeting Dutch people. We left that tiny country to get to know new people with different cultures. Well sometimes it is just nice to talk your own language. It is the most entertaining thing to talk Dutch in the States. NO ONE understands you and you get the craziest looks. It is funny how people try to figure out where you are from, but they simply can't. Most Americans can identify Spanish and German. But you can see their thoughts in the look of there eyes "That doesn't sound like German" Well no it isn't and it is not similar at all. After 5 years of German at school I can still barely understand it.
Veerle and I decided that we wanted to go picnicking at the Great Falls. I went there on my 20th Birthday. That was months ago and it was when Winter just ended. The trees were still bare and the river was all grey, back then. Now it is the end of summer. The trees are green, some are even turing red and orange and the water was really blue, just like the sky. It was extremely hot. It was over 30C, please don't ask me what that is in Fahrenheit. We found a little spot in the shade and served ourselves a nice lunch. We sat there for quite a while. We mostly talked, about simply everything that were are not been able to explain in English. Things that only Dutch people understand. Haha, Oke not sure if that was a thing, but now it is!
How easily a weekend can be really good. Find some friends and go out. Explore! It is not that hard and it might take some time to get there. I am having such a great time now. I had such a great weekend and that was just because I was out and about. I went to a horse farmhouse with my host family, to the National Harbor to watch the sunset and I had a lovely picnic at the gorgeous Great Falls. The summer will come to an end and the Autumn will kick in. So I think I did the best I could to get the most out of it. I am really excited for Autumn. Fireplaces, warm drinks, orange leaves and Halloween. I am the worst to scare. I will cry as soon as you touch my shoulder when I don't expect it. So don't know how excited I actually am about halloween, but still. It was still summer this weekend, but I am pretty sure it is time to put the shorts away and get the wooly cardigans out. I am excited for it, quite a lot to be honest!
Sunday, 31 August 2014
Skyping with Family
This moment just needed to be shared on my blog. A 3,5 hours long moment.
I have huge, huge family on my dad's side. My dad has seven siblings. Three sisters and four brothers. They are all in a relationship, there first, second or maybe even 10th marriage. haha no I'm joking there, but I do have a lovely mixed up family. I have 20 cousins and most of them are in a relationship or even married. Some of them are having children some don't, most of them don't. I made a family tree this week and I counted a family of 60. I actually only counted 59, but I am pretty sure I made a mistake and forgot someones boy or girlfriend.
Well that said, they all came together. You don't want to know how bad I would have loved it to be there. It is pretty rare that we come together. The last one was last year, but I couldn't make that because of my final exams. Before that one, I have to guess, but it might have been three years. I love family, I love my family and I wish I could have been there.
On monday my dad skyped me and told me that basically everyone would be there except from me. Autch, haha. How is that even possible. Mostly there are at least 5 or more that can't make it. No, this time was different. Everyone was there apart from me. I couldn't make it and I was devastated to hear that I was the only one. My dad made me a promise "I am going to Skype you while I am there" and he did.
This morning I woke up super excited knowing that I was going to Skype my family. Around 2pm I finally got a call. Jumped from a quite house into a room with 60 people. The connection was bad and I mostly heard a lot background noises. But my smile was bigger than ever before. It was my sister that tried to show me around. The connection was pretty bad and every time there was someone new in front of the camera the screen stopped moving. It was extremely frustrating. As soon as she had put the laptop down at one point it got better. Aunts, uncles and cousins came by to say 'hi' or to have a little chat.
After a while it was quiz time. Is 'Ranking the stars' an international program or is it Dutch? I don't know, I'll explain it briefly. There were 30 questions like; Who has the most clothes, who is the most vain, who throws the best parties and more. Everyone had to rank each other. For every question there was a top 10. I made it into 5 of them; -Who is the most stuffed animals? I have quite a few. How my family knows that I don't know. -Who is the most jealous? Well, well, well. My answer to that is that I was really jealous of everyone being together and me sitting behind a computer screen. So I guess I deserved that place, haha - Who is the biggest 'mummy's girl or boy'? That was a not to translatable word. It is basically someone who calls his/her mom a lot and stuff. Fun fact there, I made it to that list but as a little girl I was actually a daddy's girl. Actually still are, huh dad? The last two meant the most to me - Who is the most adventures? I have to be honest and say that I have cousins who did bigger adventures than I did/am doing, but at least i made the top 10. And last but not least -Who is out of the county the most? Well guess that is true. I was the only one not being in Holland during the family event. I didn't make it in the top 3 though. Apparently I have a cousin who fills his tank in Germany so he leaves the county quite a lot! Have to say that he lives near the border of Holland and Germany, But still he is going in and out more than I do. Oh, note for my family. Kirsten lived in Oslo, Norway for a couple months. Why was she not in the top 10? This family is so big that apparently we do not keep track of each other enough seeing the top 10s. I laughed so hard.
Since I am here this was by far the best Skype call ever. It took 3,5 hours and I think I at least have waved to everyone. Got the question "Who are you doing over there" more than 10 times and had a couple of good, longer chats. Sadly enough my 90 year old grandma gone home before I was been able to Skype. It was a little much for her. She is the foundation of this family. She is an amazing woman and I am so thankful for her.
My family. I love them a lot. It is weird to sit behind a screen. There were moments that I totally forgot how far way I was. I was been able the anticipate the quiz and see everyone. Only if I could teleport myself. I wish I could be there this weekend. I was super exhausted after that call, it was a lot. It was strange closing my laptop. All of a sudden it was totally quite again, but my smile was still huge. For a moment I was back in Holland attending my family event. Living in the century makes being away so much easier. I'm so happy I was been able to be part of the event. I'm even happier knowing that I did that while being in the USA!
I have huge, huge family on my dad's side. My dad has seven siblings. Three sisters and four brothers. They are all in a relationship, there first, second or maybe even 10th marriage. haha no I'm joking there, but I do have a lovely mixed up family. I have 20 cousins and most of them are in a relationship or even married. Some of them are having children some don't, most of them don't. I made a family tree this week and I counted a family of 60. I actually only counted 59, but I am pretty sure I made a mistake and forgot someones boy or girlfriend.
Well that said, they all came together. You don't want to know how bad I would have loved it to be there. It is pretty rare that we come together. The last one was last year, but I couldn't make that because of my final exams. Before that one, I have to guess, but it might have been three years. I love family, I love my family and I wish I could have been there.
On monday my dad skyped me and told me that basically everyone would be there except from me. Autch, haha. How is that even possible. Mostly there are at least 5 or more that can't make it. No, this time was different. Everyone was there apart from me. I couldn't make it and I was devastated to hear that I was the only one. My dad made me a promise "I am going to Skype you while I am there" and he did.
This morning I woke up super excited knowing that I was going to Skype my family. Around 2pm I finally got a call. Jumped from a quite house into a room with 60 people. The connection was bad and I mostly heard a lot background noises. But my smile was bigger than ever before. It was my sister that tried to show me around. The connection was pretty bad and every time there was someone new in front of the camera the screen stopped moving. It was extremely frustrating. As soon as she had put the laptop down at one point it got better. Aunts, uncles and cousins came by to say 'hi' or to have a little chat.
After a while it was quiz time. Is 'Ranking the stars' an international program or is it Dutch? I don't know, I'll explain it briefly. There were 30 questions like; Who has the most clothes, who is the most vain, who throws the best parties and more. Everyone had to rank each other. For every question there was a top 10. I made it into 5 of them; -Who is the most stuffed animals? I have quite a few. How my family knows that I don't know. -Who is the most jealous? Well, well, well. My answer to that is that I was really jealous of everyone being together and me sitting behind a computer screen. So I guess I deserved that place, haha - Who is the biggest 'mummy's girl or boy'? That was a not to translatable word. It is basically someone who calls his/her mom a lot and stuff. Fun fact there, I made it to that list but as a little girl I was actually a daddy's girl. Actually still are, huh dad? The last two meant the most to me - Who is the most adventures? I have to be honest and say that I have cousins who did bigger adventures than I did/am doing, but at least i made the top 10. And last but not least -Who is out of the county the most? Well guess that is true. I was the only one not being in Holland during the family event. I didn't make it in the top 3 though. Apparently I have a cousin who fills his tank in Germany so he leaves the county quite a lot! Have to say that he lives near the border of Holland and Germany, But still he is going in and out more than I do. Oh, note for my family. Kirsten lived in Oslo, Norway for a couple months. Why was she not in the top 10? This family is so big that apparently we do not keep track of each other enough seeing the top 10s. I laughed so hard.
Since I am here this was by far the best Skype call ever. It took 3,5 hours and I think I at least have waved to everyone. Got the question "Who are you doing over there" more than 10 times and had a couple of good, longer chats. Sadly enough my 90 year old grandma gone home before I was been able to Skype. It was a little much for her. She is the foundation of this family. She is an amazing woman and I am so thankful for her.
My family. I love them a lot. It is weird to sit behind a screen. There were moments that I totally forgot how far way I was. I was been able the anticipate the quiz and see everyone. Only if I could teleport myself. I wish I could be there this weekend. I was super exhausted after that call, it was a lot. It was strange closing my laptop. All of a sudden it was totally quite again, but my smile was still huge. For a moment I was back in Holland attending my family event. Living in the century makes being away so much easier. I'm so happy I was been able to be part of the event. I'm even happier knowing that I did that while being in the USA!
Wednesday, 23 July 2014
And Continue
That might have been the most craziest two weeks of my life. I kind of say that a lot, but this time I honestly mean it. These weeks were insane. Emotionally and physically. I did everything I could to see everyone. Turns out this was just the tip of the iceberg. I am so grateful for everyone in Holland. I didn't even knew that you all were there. I know you all are important to me, but for some reason I though I wasn't for you. Sorry for thinking that. I have seen so many happy faces by seeing my face. That boost a lot of happy feelings up in me. I've even had people crying because I could actually hug them instead of calling, Skyping or texting. It's incredible, that my mom cried wasn't a surprise for me, but the fact that she wasn't the only one means a lot. What it means, not a clue. I think I somewhere, some who turend out to be a good friend! Mission accomplished!
My Oma's funeral was really pretty and I got the courage to speak. That is the only thing I want to tell about it here. Just because I don't need to share everything. It sometimes seems to look like I do share everything. This one is just for me, my family and everyone who came to say goodbye to my Oma.
And than it was time to go home again. I remember getting anxious right before I left to go to New York. Back then I was so excited to go and I was just being anxious for the unknown. Now, I knew exactly what was waiting for me and I still did not want to go.That was only because I was so sad to leave again. To go trough the pain again of saying goodbye. The last two days I didn't even wanted to leave the house anymore. At the same time I was getting really nervous of not doing anything. I was confusing myself badly. The fact was that I was still doing a lot, but I wanted everyone to come to me. Luckily enough are the people around me the best and most sweetest persons on earth and everyone understood the situation.
Coming back to Holland wasn't fun, but it was still the greatest gift. I pinched myself multiple times. Once eve just hearing my moms voice made me cry. It was the first morning being back home. I was still in bed, waking up and she was on the phone with someone. She wasn't even talking to me, but I cried and I was letting it all sink in. That moment, her voice in the distance, like nothing changed. A lot of people asked me how hard it is to go back home and especially going away again. It was hard and the circumstances were even harder. But I knew one really important thing; I was going back to the USA to finish this adventure. That kept me up. I was so mad on the airport flying to DC. One man that works on the airport smiled friendly at me. I wanted to hit him really hard. In no near future was I going to appreciate him doing his job. I was mad at him, he was staying in Holland and he was probably not enjoying every second of it. Only if he did I could have smiled back, but probably not. I was furious. It took me a while to overcome that. I was such a childish child. It ended when I walked in my room and laid on my bed. I texted my family: "I'm home, had a great flight" That said it all. I was home. I have multiple homes now.
It was the an other gift of the trip. My realization what an awesome time I'm having right now. And it is sometimes is really hard to realize that. If the girls are driving me crazy, what happens sometimes. I get frustrated and a need to find that realization. Count to 10 and there it is. Or when my alarm clock goes off. No matter what, that's simply not a moment to enjoy. I do not, I repeat, do NOT like mornings. Fun fact, these three kids don't either. Makes waking them up a great thing, um not. haha. But that's life, my life. I love it. And I do realize it. Picking them up mostly makes me realize it. Seeing them after having some time for myself. They are happy to see me and that is great. I love to tuck the youngest in. She asks me for a might night kiss and loves to sing a song.
This evening I was off. I was in my room and I heard a little voice. She was still up while she was in her bed for over an hour. I opened her door and there she was, wide awake. In her bed, still up, talking to herself. A face of a guilty girl looking at me. "hi, Nienke" "come go sleep it's past you bed time" and I walked away while I kept her door open. She looked and me and I signed her that I was watching her. She loved to fool around. So she gave me the sign back. Not much later she walked towards me. She had covered herself with her blanket struggling to walk straight, walking into the doorpost, my side table and at the end finally me. I was trying not to laugh, but I couldn't keep it in. She made a little notch and her big brown eyes appeared. "Nienke can you tuck me in?" I was melting from the inside. THAT WAS ADORABLE, "Yes, I'll tuck you in if you go to sleep" Not even a minute after I tucked her in she was gone, fast asleep.
So little extra story for you. I love these girls so yes I'm happy to be back. I knew from the second I left that I was coming back. That is how I did it. One simple thought. I was mad, sad, furious and whatever more. I was going anyway. I was fighting from the inside, but I knew from day one who was going to win. And had no jet leg what is still great. Going to Holland I had some struggles staying up after being up for over 30hours, but that was it. Being here in the USA, falling asleep at 8:30pm the first night and waking up BECAUSE OF MY ALARM, hi I still hate that moment. That was 7am and I did not wake up anytime earlier. Day two and my jet leg was nowhere to be found, I won. I'm emotionally really tired, exhausted. Though I am doing fine, I am doing better than I expected. These weeks have gotten me up and down. Been really low, but than I saw my mom and I could hug her. I could give her an actual kiss and I could hold her tight. That ment the world to me. Wish I could still do that now.
I am back and I will stay here for now on. No more trips to Holland until the real return please. I was great to be back. Thanks for holding me tight if you did. Thanks for laughing with me when I needed and Thanks for wiping my tears of my cheeks. Nothing has changed while everything is different. Thanks for letting me share my adventure with you and thanks for you telling me yours I missed. I'll come back, I promise. For now I am living a crazy adventure and that is what I want the most. Thanks.
My Oma's funeral was really pretty and I got the courage to speak. That is the only thing I want to tell about it here. Just because I don't need to share everything. It sometimes seems to look like I do share everything. This one is just for me, my family and everyone who came to say goodbye to my Oma.
And than it was time to go home again. I remember getting anxious right before I left to go to New York. Back then I was so excited to go and I was just being anxious for the unknown. Now, I knew exactly what was waiting for me and I still did not want to go.That was only because I was so sad to leave again. To go trough the pain again of saying goodbye. The last two days I didn't even wanted to leave the house anymore. At the same time I was getting really nervous of not doing anything. I was confusing myself badly. The fact was that I was still doing a lot, but I wanted everyone to come to me. Luckily enough are the people around me the best and most sweetest persons on earth and everyone understood the situation.
Coming back to Holland wasn't fun, but it was still the greatest gift. I pinched myself multiple times. Once eve just hearing my moms voice made me cry. It was the first morning being back home. I was still in bed, waking up and she was on the phone with someone. She wasn't even talking to me, but I cried and I was letting it all sink in. That moment, her voice in the distance, like nothing changed. A lot of people asked me how hard it is to go back home and especially going away again. It was hard and the circumstances were even harder. But I knew one really important thing; I was going back to the USA to finish this adventure. That kept me up. I was so mad on the airport flying to DC. One man that works on the airport smiled friendly at me. I wanted to hit him really hard. In no near future was I going to appreciate him doing his job. I was mad at him, he was staying in Holland and he was probably not enjoying every second of it. Only if he did I could have smiled back, but probably not. I was furious. It took me a while to overcome that. I was such a childish child. It ended when I walked in my room and laid on my bed. I texted my family: "I'm home, had a great flight" That said it all. I was home. I have multiple homes now.
It was the an other gift of the trip. My realization what an awesome time I'm having right now. And it is sometimes is really hard to realize that. If the girls are driving me crazy, what happens sometimes. I get frustrated and a need to find that realization. Count to 10 and there it is. Or when my alarm clock goes off. No matter what, that's simply not a moment to enjoy. I do not, I repeat, do NOT like mornings. Fun fact, these three kids don't either. Makes waking them up a great thing, um not. haha. But that's life, my life. I love it. And I do realize it. Picking them up mostly makes me realize it. Seeing them after having some time for myself. They are happy to see me and that is great. I love to tuck the youngest in. She asks me for a might night kiss and loves to sing a song.
This evening I was off. I was in my room and I heard a little voice. She was still up while she was in her bed for over an hour. I opened her door and there she was, wide awake. In her bed, still up, talking to herself. A face of a guilty girl looking at me. "hi, Nienke" "come go sleep it's past you bed time" and I walked away while I kept her door open. She looked and me and I signed her that I was watching her. She loved to fool around. So she gave me the sign back. Not much later she walked towards me. She had covered herself with her blanket struggling to walk straight, walking into the doorpost, my side table and at the end finally me. I was trying not to laugh, but I couldn't keep it in. She made a little notch and her big brown eyes appeared. "Nienke can you tuck me in?" I was melting from the inside. THAT WAS ADORABLE, "Yes, I'll tuck you in if you go to sleep" Not even a minute after I tucked her in she was gone, fast asleep.
So little extra story for you. I love these girls so yes I'm happy to be back. I knew from the second I left that I was coming back. That is how I did it. One simple thought. I was mad, sad, furious and whatever more. I was going anyway. I was fighting from the inside, but I knew from day one who was going to win. And had no jet leg what is still great. Going to Holland I had some struggles staying up after being up for over 30hours, but that was it. Being here in the USA, falling asleep at 8:30pm the first night and waking up BECAUSE OF MY ALARM, hi I still hate that moment. That was 7am and I did not wake up anytime earlier. Day two and my jet leg was nowhere to be found, I won. I'm emotionally really tired, exhausted. Though I am doing fine, I am doing better than I expected. These weeks have gotten me up and down. Been really low, but than I saw my mom and I could hug her. I could give her an actual kiss and I could hold her tight. That ment the world to me. Wish I could still do that now.
I am back and I will stay here for now on. No more trips to Holland until the real return please. I was great to be back. Thanks for holding me tight if you did. Thanks for laughing with me when I needed and Thanks for wiping my tears of my cheeks. Nothing has changed while everything is different. Thanks for letting me share my adventure with you and thanks for you telling me yours I missed. I'll come back, I promise. For now I am living a crazy adventure and that is what I want the most. Thanks.
Monday, 7 July 2014
Home
It is unreal that I am home. That my mom is sitting next to me while I write this blog. That my cat is putting his nails into my legs, that I hear my brother whistling and my that my sister is getting ready for bed upstairs. It is a unreal time.
Being home whilst this adventure is such a strange thing. I just don't get it. Everything I do feels like a treasure. Every message feels like a warm blanket around my heart. I never asked to come home because I knew that I could life without it. But now I got it back it might be harder than before to let it go.
My sweet, sweet Oma passed away on the 4th of July 2014. Surrounded by the ones who loved her and I was one of them. I was in time to talk to her. To thank her and to hold her close. I sat next to her multiple times. She squeezed my hand and tickled the inside of it. An other time she grabbed my hand and laid my hand on her heart while stil holding it. I felt her heartbeat. I felt it like never before. Right now I wish I could do that again.
On a day that I was suppose to celebrate the Birthday of the USA I was with my Oma. She is a hero, right before she passed away she talked to every single person that was there. My mom, aunt, uncle, my cousins, my siblings and me. Everyone got the most personal little talk. She told me to love everyplace I will live. That is doesn't matter were I end up. I was free to go wherever, whenever. That she was proud of me forever. Than she smiled at me and I thanked her for bringing me home. She started her journey. I secretly hope she stopped by the USA to watch all the fireworks. I miss her so much. I just want her to open her eyes and look at me again. I want to listen to her beautiful stories and I wish I could tell her all of mine.
I am home. This week was super intense and I do more than I actually can. Days feel longer and I try to see everyone. I make the most out of the time I got. My emotions are all over the place. I have cried, sadly enough, every single day, but I haven't laughed this hard in a long time either. All my loved once around me all the time. It is more than I could have asked for.
If you ask me how I am doing. I am doing good. Holland and a specially Haarlem and Vogelenzang are home. That will never change. I feel great being here, but I wish it was for a different reason. And at the same time I know that I am ready to finish my year over in Virgina. I am going to make even more out of the days that I will be here in Holland. If I didn't already know, I would have known it by now. I have the most amazing and caring friends. In Holland and all over the world. Every messages means so much to me and I hope that you all know that I love you a lot.
It is a unreal world sometimes. I will take all of the good out of something sad. This is be best gift I could have get. My Oma's best and last gift and I will always thank her for it.
Being home whilst this adventure is such a strange thing. I just don't get it. Everything I do feels like a treasure. Every message feels like a warm blanket around my heart. I never asked to come home because I knew that I could life without it. But now I got it back it might be harder than before to let it go.
My sweet, sweet Oma passed away on the 4th of July 2014. Surrounded by the ones who loved her and I was one of them. I was in time to talk to her. To thank her and to hold her close. I sat next to her multiple times. She squeezed my hand and tickled the inside of it. An other time she grabbed my hand and laid my hand on her heart while stil holding it. I felt her heartbeat. I felt it like never before. Right now I wish I could do that again.
On a day that I was suppose to celebrate the Birthday of the USA I was with my Oma. She is a hero, right before she passed away she talked to every single person that was there. My mom, aunt, uncle, my cousins, my siblings and me. Everyone got the most personal little talk. She told me to love everyplace I will live. That is doesn't matter were I end up. I was free to go wherever, whenever. That she was proud of me forever. Than she smiled at me and I thanked her for bringing me home. She started her journey. I secretly hope she stopped by the USA to watch all the fireworks. I miss her so much. I just want her to open her eyes and look at me again. I want to listen to her beautiful stories and I wish I could tell her all of mine.
I am home. This week was super intense and I do more than I actually can. Days feel longer and I try to see everyone. I make the most out of the time I got. My emotions are all over the place. I have cried, sadly enough, every single day, but I haven't laughed this hard in a long time either. All my loved once around me all the time. It is more than I could have asked for.
If you ask me how I am doing. I am doing good. Holland and a specially Haarlem and Vogelenzang are home. That will never change. I feel great being here, but I wish it was for a different reason. And at the same time I know that I am ready to finish my year over in Virgina. I am going to make even more out of the days that I will be here in Holland. If I didn't already know, I would have known it by now. I have the most amazing and caring friends. In Holland and all over the world. Every messages means so much to me and I hope that you all know that I love you a lot.
It is a unreal world sometimes. I will take all of the good out of something sad. This is be best gift I could have get. My Oma's best and last gift and I will always thank her for it.
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